Not the type of girl men want to marry

[Notagirltomarry]

Sat I bed alone and crying again. Think my friend was right when she said "your the type of girl men love to chase, but not the type of girl they will marry"

I'm 35 and a single mum to 4, two failed relationships with my dc's dads and finally back in the summer thought I had found the one... I feel head over heels for him straight away which is very unusual for me, I thought I was going to finally get my fairytale and live happily ever after, found out few weeks ago he wasn't being totally honest with me and I am heartbroken.

All around me everyone seems to get their fairytales except me!

My friend is right, I have no shortage of Intrest, I'm attractive and have a good figure, I'm to bloody nice for my own good, I'm fun, yet men never seem to want me for anything more than casual.

I'm starting to think I'm going to be alone for ever.

My EX friend once said that I'm a player and play with guys then dump them... (Note she is EX friend)

In reality I'm always the one left with the broken heart...

Not every single person's opinion is right.

Relax and live your life happily. Don't wait for someone to make you happy. You are already happy and gifted with 4 adorable children.
The right person one day will walk in and stay no matter what.
Keep believing.

If you have found out he hasn't been completely honest with, you had a lucky escape ;)

Please be nice to yourself

35, 4 kids and still want a "fairytale"?

Just live your own fabulous life with your fabulous kids (wish I had 4)

The knight in shining armour does not exist, your kids will soon be old enough to tell you

Long term marriages have all seen crap times IMO, there is no "magic" Some people just stick out the bad times (sometimes this is good, sometimes not).

Why did you have a child with someone you didn't live with?

pauldirac about 7 months, things were going well

bertandrussell it wasn't planned our relationship was ending when I found out I was pregnant, he choose not to be involved, I decided to keep the baby and do it alone.

Well at least you found out what he was like after 7 months not 7 years.

Op. Don't worry about it. I am one of those girls that will never have a serious partner and I don't worry about it.

I have 4 kids at home And would never introduce anyone new into their lives as I don't believe I need a man in their lives.

Live for you and them. Yes you have sexual needs but I find a casual thing works just as well... And loads less hassle but much more fun. Meaning happy mum... Happy kids. .

My friends wouldn't ever tell me that I'm not the sort a guy would marry.... As they know I wouldn't bother. Simply I'm 40 and having the time of my life. Gone are the days a woman had to worry so much about how she was perceived.

Have fun, live life and who knows when you least expect it your dream man may just turn up.

I think your friend was in a bit of a clumsy way trying to tell you how you might be coming across.
Agree that with 4 kids it could be a stumbling block to a lot of potential partners but I did know someone who had 4 children and ended up marrying a guy who had sole custody of his 7 children. House hunting when they decided to marry was interesting.

Your friend is not really supportive.
You seem to be clinging to the 'fairy-tale'. Can you look at your life, real life?
For now, can you be happy with what you have? You have 4 Dcs.
Maybe you can be happy just as you are with what you have. Your needs can be met casually. Stop chasing them and someone will cross your path.
It would take a very determined man to commit with 4 children. Let him come to you

There are plenty of men out there that would be ideal partners / husbands , lots are not Jack the Lad types that go around bars etc, chatting up women for sex. Lots of builders & other manual workers I have known over the years have been very shy & gentle men, & would love to meet a good woman, but were to shy to approach women, for fear of rejection.
Keep your eyes open & make the first move if you find one.
Maybe a local MN member has a friend or brother they could introduce you too.
Best Wishes.

I know life isn't a fairytale just sometimes seems like that's what everyone else is getting

The key word here is seems.
Bet you a pound to a penny quite a lot of those "Fairytale" relationships are anything but, once that front door closes.
Seeing as you're only 35 you've probably got another 50years to find someone, 5 decades, half a century! I think you don't need to worry

Agree with other posters, friend doesn't sound particularly friendly!

What do you mean when you say 'fairytale'?

I can't abide actual fairy tales which all seem to have great 'romantic' stories about mysterious men with dark secrets sweeping in and taking total control over a woman's life which is about the opposite of what I'd want.

I think if you are meaning you want a knight on a white horse that is highly highly unlikely to happen unless the man has abusive tendencies and gets off on control, in which case you shouldn't want him.

What kind of relationship would you like with what kind of person?

I have four kids with two dads, both were abusive in different ways, I'm 31.

I haven't had any difficulty finding relationships at all but I am definitely not looking for another marriage or even living with someone. Never say never obviously, but AFAIC there will be no 'taking on of kids' because I want to live alone, I don't want a serious relationship with shared finances or another marriage.

Being clear on what you want rather than waiting to be swept off your feet is always better IMO.