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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does anyone regret their divorce?

9 replies

harryhausen · 04/01/2016 08:46

Bit tentative here as this is purely a musing on my part. It sounds pretty lame but I'm just pondering on my friends divorcing.

We've known them over 20 years as (far as we know) they've always had a good relationship. We're good friends with both sides. However the DW has filed for divorce. She's going through the menopause, recently list both her parents, seems depressed (obviously if she's unhappy), her personality has changed a lot and she wants to leave her DC's behind with her STBExH (dcs are teens).

She won't talk to me about it.

I'm not getting involved. However I'm am worried about her. If she's dreadfully unhappy in her marriage then fair enough I'll support her whatever, it's just that I'm worried she's having some kind of mental health issue and she may regret this down line?

Nothing I can really do, but (DV, EA and Adultery aside) I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who does perhaps regret a divorce? Just after others experiences really.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 04/01/2016 08:51

I don't regret mine.
I regret me taking so long to get it sorted but doing it that way means I'm better off financially so can't even regret that bit too much.

Unfortunately you cannot possibly know what goes on behind closed doors.
The fact she is willing to leave her children behind says to me she is either very depressed or she has another man waiting in the wings.

Newyearnewme2016 · 04/01/2016 08:56

The only thing I regret is not divorcing sooner.

When I read about your friend, I also thought she wants to be with someone else.

harryhausen · 04/01/2016 08:59

Thanks both. Unfortunately I think you're probably right. Ive spoken to her DH who seems sad, resigned and very confused. I was worried that she's having a bit of a breakdown and divorcing in the middle of it as a reaction IYSWIM? However, yes it's probably a OM.

OP posts:
whattheseithakasmean · 04/01/2016 09:00

I would bet money your friend is having an affair - leaving the teens with her STB ex is a sure sign.

Claraoswald36 · 04/01/2016 09:11

Not for a second. I can't have divorced much sooner as I was only 9 weeks pg with dd2 (separation anyway). I adore my dc and exh could be a much worse dad but I hated most of being married.
It hasn't it me off I would and probably will marry my dp in a heartbeat

StopLaughingDrRoss · 04/01/2016 10:26

Nope - not for a minute! It didn't start out as my choice but once he'd been gone for a while, I honestly couldn't wait!

Your friends DH sounds like me at the beginning and yes, OM is a distinct possibility. If you're friends with them both, all you can do is help them both through this in whatever way they need.

Also, no one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors Sad - there could be much more to this

Whisperingeye1 · 04/01/2016 18:32

Best thing I ever did. It does sound like she has someone else though.

nearlydeadrat · 04/01/2016 19:50

Ditto the behind closed doors thing. Everyone thought my dh was lovely. He was a cunt.

Best thing I did.

kittybiscuits · 04/01/2016 19:53

Same as you ^

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