Hi all, I need a bit of a fresh perspective on my current situation.
I am nearly 40 with 3 children.
I have been a pretty poor judge of character in the past when it comes to relationships. I had my first son at 19 with a violent man who I managed to leave when my son was 4 months old, due to the violence against me he went to prison and does not have contact with my son who is now 18. I met my ex husband when my son was nearly 3 and we were together for 6 years, before getting married and having my second son who is now 9. When my son was 2.5 years old we split up ( more me than him, as I fell out of love with him). A year after I split I had a relationship with another man for 4 years but we didn't live together as it wasn't what I wanted. We eventually went our own way as he wanted more.
I had a year of being on my own and experienced a bout of depression due to work and study stress.
I met my current partner just before last Christmas and fell completely in love. We knew straight away we wanted to be together. He has two daughters. I then fell pregnant and was mortified as I had made a conscious decision not to have anymore due to the mess ups I had made with the relationships with my sons fathers. Also the stigma attached to have children with different fathers. However my partner and I Decided to proceed with the pregnancy. We had a gorgeous little girl and she has brought our two families together and we live a relatively happy life. I am currently in maternity leave and he is in between jobs as a teacher, as he wanted to spend time st home and it has been lovely. However what has been worrying me is when my partner and I have a disagreement, he will threaten to leave. The first few times this has happened I begged him to stay as o love him and also don't want a third failed relationship with another child. Although he has done this a few times now and I have now started to think if that's what he wants them to go. I do love him but hate the threats and living on tender hooks and part of me thinks just leave. I am upset that I made the decision to have a child with him as I love him to pieces but it seems he wants to walk away over the slightest disagreement. I am an independent person with a good job and no real financial worries and he moved into my home. so being on my own has never been a problem but I would feel like a fool if this relationship falls apart as well as devastated at losing him. I have tried to talk to him about it and he just says oh it's just because he was upset!!