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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

nearly our anniversary husband made a dig

5 replies

zannyminxoxox · 03/01/2016 05:29

It will be myn and my husbands wedding anniversary soon and will have been married 6 years. I didn't get my husband a christmas card at christmas, as I personally didn't think he would get me one as I usually have to remind him every year. We was talking about it being our anniversary soon and he asked if I had anything planned. I said no and money is tight as we are having to swap kids rooms around to make room for another due in march. He then said I wonder if you will even get me a card or just not bother like christmas. I thought to myself why can't you plan anything for our anniversary and usually I have to remind you to get a card for me or even to do anything for any occasion for me. I have just given up and he finally goes off his own back and gets me a card without prompting, but then seems upset when I didn't get him one. I mean for christmas I brought him something he really wanted and he was chuffed with it. I got £50 in boots vouchers where I had no use for them. A waste of £50. Why couldn't he get me something I liked I gave enough hints, its like he didn't give any thought to me but is making digs about christmas cards.

OP posts:
HipHopOpotomus · 03/01/2016 06:31

You really can't find a use for a £50 bôots voucher?

kittybiscuits · 03/01/2016 06:59

Does he have other passive aggressive traits OP? It sounds like you think he might have done the xmas card thing on purpose just to wrong-foot you. How does he treat you more generally? Do you feel loved and cared for?

lighteningirl · 03/01/2016 07:23

We're you pleased to get a card? Sounds to me like he tried and perhaps he feels no matter what he does it isn't enough

HortonWho · 03/01/2016 07:26

Why don't you take turns planning something on your anniversary? This year can be his turn, since you're pregnant and tired.

ChopsticksandChilliCrab · 03/01/2016 07:34

You bought him a present so I don't understand why he is saying you didn't bother about Christmas for him? While vouchers are dull, on the bright side you do get to choose what you want. Next time take him shopping and choose, let him pay. Job done. Don't do hints, my DH certainly couldn't dope with hints or lists, he takes me shopping.

You need to sit down before big events and decide what you are both doing and stick to it. Surely if money is tight spending pounds on a card that will go in recycling in a few weeks is a waste? I would suggest no cards and take each other shopping.

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