That in a nutshell really. I've followed some really helpful threads on here discussing where to meet nice men when you find yourself single again and ready to date..
I was thinking about the relationships I've been in; abusive and unhealthy generally, though not so much when in my twenties (37 now), but more recently actually, I literally started sobbing this evening (came a bit of a shock to hear myself and I had to muffle it in case the DC heard), that feels cringe to admit.
I've never felt truly close to anyone; only my children and friends, but intimacy I mean, I can be fluffy with them IYSWIM as its different. It's just been a sort of false short term intimacy (I realise now), not the sort of love where you can look someone straight in the eye properly and bare your sole to them. Sorry bit 
to admit that too!
So having done lots and lots of work (and I mean lots) on my self esteem, core beliefs and behaviours, I'm feeling the most ready I ever have! (Well apart from the unexpected sobbing session tonight of course..)
I think what I'm trying to ask is not for success stories and happy endings if you find yourself singe again, especially with young DC, but if anyone has experience of prev intimacy issues that they overcame and met the love of their life who they became genuinely and wonderfully close to.. Hope that makes sense! Thanks.