Been with dh for 10 years and his mother has always been hardworking but since I've had dc she's upped it several notches.
She always wants to be in her home ( doesn't like going out or to other people's homes)
All occasions must be celebrated at her house, dc's birthdays, Xmas, Mother's Day etc she's gotten away with it because her daughter panders to her and allows this.
When we had dc who was 2 months at Xmas mil insisted we spent Xmas with her as its tradition that her grandchildren spend first birthdays and Xmas with her, in my post birth haze I agreed to this but we went to my family as well to visit shortly. It wasn't the best Xmas but we got through it. The following year we suggested both families come to our house, which my family were very excited about, mil on the other hand came with the 'tradition' thing and dh guilted me into allowing her to ruin our plans and spend Xmas with her. The following year I put my foot down and insisted we are not going round there. He suggested he took dc and I stay at home, ( that was his compromise) we had a huge argument about it not being fair, he insisted that she should see dc on Xmas day.
Now comes this year, I've said in no uncertain terms are we leaving the house but she's welcome to come here. We've never had a Xmas as a family but instead driving around London to accommodate mil. She wasn't happy about this but had no choice, dh has started to understand that she's being selfish though it took a lot of convincing. Now it's new year and we were going to spend it at home and his his sister and dc's and a few other friends come round. He's just spoken sil and said what times she coming, she said she's not sure as she's not feeling well nor is her 6 month old. and might have to mil as she will be home alone ( her partner is going out) dh suggested she brings her here or we move the celebrations to sil (mil house isn't big enough for the children to run around) mil doesn't want this she wants to stay at home and for us all to go to hers. So I've just said to dh to go with the dc's and I'll stay at home. Mil is so stubborn and always get her way, it's becoming impossible, I've given in to her demands, I've retaliated with stubbornness but she doesn't budge. What advice would you give?