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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

confessed to texting other girls

49 replies

painegang · 30/12/2015 17:27

My boyfriend of 9 months got very drunk Christmas eve and proceeded to tell me he has been texting someone he met before me of the same dating site we met off as friends. He told me very drunk " omg you would be so jealous if i showed you a pic of her shes so pretty and big tits".Which to me incites jealousy i think ? He laughs saying i did her a year ago. . He wanted to know if id mind if he met her for coffee.Once sober Christmas morning he wonders why I'm upset .Crying i tell him i don't want to be with someone who texts other girls. He promised on his mums life nothing has been said inappropriate. She has a boyfriend and she knows about me. He couldn't understand why i got upset over that and wanted to draw a line under it saying "omg its not going to ruin xmas day is it ?" She is pretty he says but your prettier and she hasn't got big boobs i don't know why i said that . like i should be happy with that comment?! He also said it was a test ? A test for what ? Perhaps just trying to get out of what he said .He seems to have a few who text him kisses or such like. I've not yet been through his phone I'm too scared as to what i will find .I already start shaking just looking at his phone. My tummy's been churning since xmas eve. I'm not eating . He is so loving when he is with me and spends all his time off with me .Constantly wanting cuddles and telling me he loves me .But perhaps he was like that with every girl he has been with? You always think its your special thing but how many of us find out he was calling another girl special names you thought he only called you? So my head says end it my heart is still in love .What to do? Every time hes phone vibrates i feel ill .

OP posts:

bodenbiscuit · 30/12/2015 18:59

Oh and when I pulled him up on it he said 'who do you think you are? There are thousands of women out there better than you'

Patheticfallacy · 30/12/2015 18:59

He sounds 17. V immature. Bin him. I met someone online about 8 months ago and he would never speak about any woman in that way and certainly wouldn't text another woman. That's how it should be.

Goingtobeawesome · 30/12/2015 19:00

OMG. I'm sorry but I thought you were about 19.

He's not allowed to have friends = your fault he's like this. Too controlling etc etc.

Just bin him off. Nothing else to be said.

Patheticfallacy · 30/12/2015 19:02

And for reference. He has never ever discussed another woman's body in my presence, compared me to another woman or made me, a slightly wobbly out of shape mum of 3, feel anything less than perfect. There are good men out there. This man is not one of them. You deserve better.

TattieHowkerz · 30/12/2015 19:12

Fuck. 47! He sounds like a teenager, and a pathetic one at that. Life is too short.

loveyoutothemoon · 30/12/2015 20:22

Bloody hell thought you were 18 or something! God life's too short.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 30/12/2015 21:41

Me too!

Just dump him.

Offred · 30/12/2015 22:34

Fucking hell.

Dump, dump, dump... What an utter knobhead...

SnakesandKnives · 31/12/2015 00:45

You know I had a suspicion he wasn't going to be about 17 like he sounds.

Utter utter cock behaviour.

As tattie said...life is just too short. Find someone you deserve

Firsteverchangeofname · 31/12/2015 00:46

He's 47
Dear God
I'm stunned

Ugh

Firsteverchangeofname · 31/12/2015 00:49

In fact I'm sure I'd be 'soooo jealous'

I'd be tying a huge festive bow around this piece of Gods gift you are lucky enough to have....

And popping it on her doorstep for perusal.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 31/12/2015 00:56

Fuck that, get shut of him. He sounds like a complete knob. You can do infinitely better.

pieceofpurplesky · 31/12/2015 01:34

I thought you were going to be teenagers. You need to separate as soon as possible!

timelytess · 31/12/2015 01:39

He's 47 im 43
He's telling you about another woman, saying she's prettier than you and with bigger tits, and its a test?

He doesn't sound very nice, OP. Do you really want this for the rest of your life?

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 31/12/2015 06:22

Would just like to add, in support of all the teenage boys out there, that my son is 17 and I am very confident, based on the conversations we have had around relationships etc, that he would not behave like this with a girlfriend.

And from what I know of his friends, neither would they.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 31/12/2015 06:32

Tbh, OP, I'm 40 and if a boyfriend said that to me, I'd end it.

I might be stunned enough to have not kicked him out immediately, but the comment about me letting it spoil Christmas Day would have jolted me out of that.

I've just reread your op and the whole thing (including him promising on his mum's life) is utterly ridiculous.

I have dumped for less.

ravenmum · 31/12/2015 06:34

Do you really still see yourself as a girl, at 43? Have a look in the mirror, isn't that a grown woman looking back? With enough life experience to realise when she is being messed around (as you clearly do, posting here)? Make this the year you find an actual man, one who doesn't "do" girls...

ColdWhiteWinePlease · 31/12/2015 10:27

Well my son is 19, and he would NEVER say that to a GF. That's because he's not an utter twat.

I'd get rid of him asap.

Or, let him go to the coffee.

Say this: "Of course we're allowed friends! Oh, I'm kind of pleased that we can have coffee with Exes. My Ex Dave has been badgering me to meet up for a coffee, as he's moving back here, but I've been avoiding the question. Did I ever tell you about Dave? He's the guy I dated for a year, he's 6 ft 4 and has a dick about the size of a Pringles tube. I was really upset when we parted ways and he was too, but we've stayed in touch. Great, I'll text him now and set up our coffee date"

Then flounce off.

CumbriaMum91 · 31/12/2015 11:05

ColdWhite I love that response! Taste of his own medicine and make him blaming you backfire

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 31/12/2015 11:12

Omg I thought you were both about 19
Dtmfa

Claraoswald36 · 31/12/2015 11:29

He has done that thing men do when they try and confess something but not the whole truth but they feel better and kid themselves.
And he chose Xmas eve to do it! Bin him he's horrid

shihtzumamma · 31/12/2015 12:52

Hes telling you the truth when he's drunk, it will only gets worse. Believe me been there got the tshirt.
Run like the wind.

Goingtobeawesome · 31/12/2015 14:16

It probably was a test. To see how much he can get away with and he'll still get a shag from you. Value yourself as he doesn't.

Scarydinosaurs · 31/12/2015 14:20

He is a fake. All that niceness means nothing when he says shit like "you would be so jealous". I would bet a million pounds he will now tell HER what he's said to you to flatter HER ego.

Waste of your time.

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