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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't know where to go from here

3 replies

twosugars · 30/12/2015 12:09

I left an abusive relationship a year and a half ago but because we own a house together he still comes over a lot and now he is going to have to move back in because neither of us can afford financiallly to keep this up.

I can't take this emotional abuse anymore I really can't. I want to leave the house, sell my half of it and move to cheaper private rented accomodation away from him and this place.

But I have no money and the only way I can save for a desposit is to have him back for 6 months or so and save. But this seems unbearable and will be damaging for our ds (he is a toddler but getting more aware of things).

There is money in the house luckily. This is my only salvation. But obviously I can't have access to it until it's sold which could take ages.

I do not have family to ask for help, unfortunately they either live very far away or are abusive themselves (ie. my parents), and am pretty much LC with them anyway. They have washed their hands of me pretty much.

My ex does not stop me from going out/doing things, but his tactics are to put me down/belittle me over and over again and tell me I am mad/mentally ill/pathetic/fat/lazy/stupid etc etc etc. Makes me think I am actually going mad. That's it.

I thought I could deal with the 6 month thing but I don;t think I can.
please could anyone advise on how I can get out?

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 30/12/2015 15:38

That does sound grim, spending 6 months listening to his bullshit.

Is there any possibility you could find a really cheap house or flatshare for the interim?

ImperialBlether · 30/12/2015 15:43

No. There's no way you should have to live with an abusive man. A house will always sell quickly if it's the right price. It might not be what you'd hope for it, but you will be able to sell. Please don't let him back in - you'll never get him out again.

ImperialBlether · 30/12/2015 15:44

How many bedrooms do you have? Could you get short term tenants in?

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