Ten days no contact

[Cherrycrystal]

This thread is exactly what the title suggests.
I made it to ten days no contact, yesterday to be precise.
He text me out of the blue and wished me a happy Christmas, I replied to say happy Christmas and ask how his was (I now realise how hard no contact truly is, I am not strong enough to cut him out altogether yet apparently). He replied, asked me about mine and I asked him about an issue he'd mentioned (this always happens in our relationship) when he replied I sent him a final text accepting it must be hard for him right now.
Then, thirty minutes later I text him a question regarding his situation and he didn't reply.
I'm not surprised, I accept he doesn't want me, I accept he and I will never be together.
My question is how do you remain strong and not reply when they text? I thought he wouldn't break the silence and I'd be free. Instead I'm waiting anxiously for the next text hoping I have the strength to ignore it or at the very least tell him I'm done.

I'm in same spot. I sent a Christmas card but that's it as far as I'm concerned as there was no response, and it's probably for the best as it wasn't a healthy relationship. I like to think I'm a decent person and I did a decent thing sending a card, but now I shall resume NC and keep my chin up. It's tough as I just keep going over everything in my head and wondering what he's up to but I suppose that is to be expected to some extent.

Also get yourself a good playlist.

Apologise - timbaland
Goodbye to you - Michelle branch
Go your own way - fleet wood mac
Take the long road and walk it - the music

I blocking really hard it's like a silly game of blocking then unblocking just 'to see'
Makes the whole process very painful
I think the longer you can stay just silence the sooner you realise it's over
Leave you phone at home ...or just awkwardly out of reach helps .
Glad it's not just me that's experienced this

Make a long list of all his arsey ways, thoughtless actions , dirty toe nails etc

And a list of all the good things you have now

Thank you all for your replies, it's really helpful to know other people have been through this.
I have tried easing myself into blocking him today, then panicked that he would get angry if he couldn't contact me and unblocked him. Hopefully this will pass and I'll be able to do it.
Scarednoob - I will definitely make a song list, that quote is really helpful as well.
Spud - I do think a list of pros and cons could help in this situation as well.
Joys - you're right, false hope is not what I need here.
I keep reminding myself he does not want me. Any man who wants me would not treat me this way.

He won't get angry. Either he won't try or won't care, in which case where's your loss, or he'll make a real effort.

But the main thing here is that he is irrelevant. Who gives a flying fuck what he thinks or does? All that matters is you and your sanity.

As I said, I spent 3 years in your position. always gave in, always emailed or texted him back. Because not hearing from him was so awful that the only thing that made it better was hearing from him.

But eventually even I'd had enough. I made the playlist, I played it loudly in the car and in the gym, blocked him on Facebook etc. I read the break-up book and marvelled at how precisely it described me. And finally I let go. You can do it too.

If he doesn't want you, sod him. Lots of other people will. You just have to get to the stage of letting them in!

More songs

Blow me - pink (this is the BEST!!)
I am the resurrection - stone roses
ain't it funny - j-lo featuring ja rule
Amateur - Aimee Mann
Because of you - Kelly clarkson
Best thing I never had - Beyoncé
Better in time - Leona Lewis
Blue Monday - new order
Breakin' up - rilo kiley
Breathe - blu Cantrell
Call the police - James Morrison
Changed the way you kiss me - example
Cry me a river - justin timberlake
Don't speak - no doubt
Bell bottom blues - Eric Clapton
Ever fallen in love - pete yorn
Fight test - flaming lips
Ghost - Charlene soraia
Good riddance - greenday
Goodbye - alexia
Grenade - Bruno mars
Grounds for divorce - elbow
Here without you - 3 doors down
Hit the road jack - ray charles
Hole in the head - sugababes
How you like me now - the heavy
How it's going to be - third eye blind
I couldn't be your friend - Tegan and Sara
I get along - pet shop boys
We are never ever getting back together - Taylor swift
If I never see you again - kansascali
In and out of love - armin van buuren
It's all over but the crying - garbage
Cup of coffee - garbage
I will survive - Gloria gaynor
Just like a pill - pink
The last goodbye - atomic kitten
It's ok - atomic kitten
Lay me down - the wreckers
Leave (get out) - jojo
Like a fool - Keira knightley
Love's unkind - Donna summer
Mr big stuff - lyn Collins
Mr bright side - the killers
Terry - Kirsty maccoll
Not big - lily Allen
Not ready to make nice - Dixie chicks
Over you - roxy music
Already over me - Rolling Stones
Poison - alice cooper
Red red wine - ub40
Your woman - white town
Roar - Katy perry
Round round - sugababes
Song for the dumped - Ben folds five
Made of stone - stone roses
Sick and tired - Anastasia
So long jimmy - James blunt
So what - pink
Somebody I used to know - gotye
Sorry - Madonna
Step on - happy Mondays
Stop! - Sam brown
Stupid thing - Aimee Mann
There's a fine fine line - avenue q
Thinking of me - olly murs

Have a YouTube disco!

Few more!

Well alright - Santana
You'll think of me - Keith urban
What have you done for me lately - janet Jackson
Where do broken hearts go - Whitney Houston
Who knew - pink
Wise men - James blunt
Win some lose some - Robbie Williams
With every heartbeat - Robyn
With or without you - U2
Around this corner - Sarah harmer
You keep me hanging on - Diana Ross and supremes
You're history - Shakespeare's sister

As I said, I had a long time to put these songs together!!!! It's funny how much it helps - either an angry fuck you song, or a song that makes you realise you ain't the only one going through it.

"I have tried easing myself into blocking him today, then panicked that he would get angry if he couldn't contact me and unblocked him"

Firstly, why are you concerned what he thinks if he tries to eventually, when he's bored/lonely/horny contact you and finds he can't, and secondly what sort of arsehole would get angry at not being able to contact an ex GF he'd dumped?! Anyway, I bet he knows where you live doesn't he? If he suddenly has a change of heart he does actually know how to get in touch, just not as easily as texting you.

You're doing really well, but it will be far less stressful to just block him now so you can relax, than continue to use your willpower to avoid contacting him. It's like ripping off a plaster; hurts at the time but so much less painful than slowly trying to remove it.

Thanks for the list scarednoob I spent last night creating a play list adding a few of my own (fight song seemed to suit this situation)
Vocational - you're right I do not want to keep living out the pain of this breakup.
What - you're also right, I shouldn't be worried if he gets angry, but it's hard not too. I know his reactions to things and for a long time have been careful how I word things to be sure he wouldn't get angry and would understand my point of view, it's a hard habit to break. However, you are right and I should just block him, I'm hoping I'll be able to use the new year as motivation. New year new start.

NC isn't about him not contacting you but you not replying and blocking him is the first step (I'm guessing you know how search engines work, so there's no excuse as to not finding out how). Own the NC because right now you're making excuses and placing a lot of the responsibility on maintaining the NC on someone who isn't invested in it.

For me blocking my ex was the only way to get a feeling that it was all over as every 2-3 weeks I got a drunken "I love you so much" text etc.
Blocking and deleting his number freed my mind from constantly thinking "I bet he'll message me again tomorrow".
It was a huge relief when it was all over!

If he was blocked and deleted, how would he let you know he was angry or that he'd even realised that you'd done it OP?
Will you have to see him in person anytime soon? If not, block away!

Isetan I have taken full responsibility in that I am not texting him first, I am not contacting him. I agree I need to block him, but I'm finding it hard and need to work up to it.
Professor we work together so if I don't reply he would find a way to appear in my department or a meeting I'm involved in (he's done this before).
I desperately wish I hadn't gone back to him after the break up now. I need this to be it for us.

I love fight song! It sounds v teenage - but actually music helps so so much.

New year is the perfect time to do this - new hobby, new you, new man. Sod this old git, he's staying in the past where he belongs!

I sympathise. I too have tried to block a toxic man this Christmas. I always unblock and it does my head in! Delete may be the only way x

Scarednoob I agree and he is staying in the past.
Daenerys I'm glad it's not just me.
I'm feeling so much stronger regards not texting him, I'm hoping that should he text again I'll ignore him if I haven't blocked him by then.