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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being stupid?

3 replies

darkequinoxlight · 25/12/2015 15:05

I've tried OD before, but I just can't get on with it at all. I find it so depressing and inevitably end up deleting my profile feeling that the human race is doomed!

Since my chances of meeting anyone outside the Internet are nil pretty much non existent, is this then short sighted of me?

I'd be interested in views?

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 25/12/2015 15:11

Well, there are loads of awful stories on here of married men etc., and also stories of people who are now married to someone they met online.

So it's a bit hard to say, really!

I found that every time I was just about to delete my profile as everyone was odd or dull, someone would pop up who made me laugh. And that was enough to keep me going.

I'm currently happily with someone I met on Match, but both of us shudder at the thought of going back on it - even though that's ridiculous as we're proved it works! (I mean, even if we split up, we're both nice people and we've had fun)

I think the balance lies between whether it really is seriously affecting your mood, and the question of 'why not'? It may be a needle in a haystack, but at least there's a needle in there, and at least you're digging.

I'd try giving yourself a once a week hour up look at your messages / other profiles and try not to have it a big part of your life - but carry on.

darkequinoxlight · 25/12/2015 15:12

It does affect my mood, I've found.

There are definitely some great relationships from OD, but I think of it as being a little like the 'Primark syndrome' - I often see women in gorgeous stuff from there but when I go myself can never find anything! I think of OD in much the same way.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 25/12/2015 15:31

Love the idea of Primark Syndrome!

My best friend has two marriages from Match! In retrospect, less said about the first one the better, really. And she also made a few nice friends and I'd think "uh? How come I only have short crap conversations with losers?" Grin

I think the Primark idea is good though. OK, so you know that maybe nothing in there will ever suit you. But popping in there is quick, you get to try things on without commitment, it can help you refine what you're looking for, and best of all, it doesn't stop you walking into Matalan after. So - I think if your skin is thick enough, just keep going in, but with regular breaks.

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