DH has 15 yo

[childlesschildfree]

I am curious as to what your thoughts are in relation to my situation I am a childless by circumstance woman (early menopause). I married a man with a daughter. She is now 15 yo. DH was not married to daughter's mum. His daughter's mum has never worked - she claims she cannot work as she is a 'full time mum'. We pay a 1/3 of our salary towards daughter upkeep each month. We would like to adopt. I do not think it is unreasonable for daughter's mum to start working 15 yo is old to me. What do you think?

Just wanted to say, 15% is the MINIMUM he should pay. Most dads should be happy to pay more than the minimum, but usually aren't...

However, a third of your joint income sounds ridiculous.

I having a suspicion that the OP doesn't work, hence 1/3 of his income is just that, 1/3. But having basically called the mother a workshy sponger she's not going to correct us that the maintenance isn't coming from her income.

1/3 if you're a reasonably high earner and have enough to live comfortably from your 2/3 isn't outrageous. And if her husband felt the agreement was unfair, why did he make it?

No bias here: I'm entitled to £350 a month from my XH and choose not to claim it.

When you have a second child, whether that's with a new partner or not, via adoption or a birth child, you have to consider whether you can afford it.

You shouldn't just say "oh I want another child so I'll stop paying for this one".

There is a reason he's ended up paying more than legal minimum - but still a reasonable proportion if it's a third of HIS income - and I don't think it's fair to talk about gravy trains without knowing what that reason is.

OP said 'our salary',I don't think anyone would use that term for someone else's salary. 'Our income'maybe, but not that.