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Original poster

What would you think if this were your friend?

28 replies

CantEvenThinkOfANickname · 22/12/2015 11:40

Firstly, let me say that this isn't about me. I'm not directly affected by it.

A few months ago a friend of mine stopped wearing his wedding ring. It turns out we'd all noticed, but no one had commented as we're not a gossipy group. About a fortnight ago, someone passed a comment about his wife and he just gave an odd, non committal response.

Clearly, it's none of our business and we won't directly ask him.

But is there likely to be an innocuous reason for a man to remove his wedding ring, seemingly permanently, having always worn one previously?

He isn't the sort to have an affair. Always assumed he was happily married. He hasn't lost or gained weight.

OP posts:
ItchyArmpits · 22/12/2015 11:42

I would think it wasn't my business until he decided to tell me.

Haggisfish · 22/12/2015 11:45

I would ask in a discreet way with no one else around.

Pomegranatemolasses · 22/12/2015 11:45

Maybe the ring got painfully tight or he lost it? If there is no other sign, then it's a bit of a leap to make.

And fairly damaging chit chat to be having about a friend.

gandalf456 · 22/12/2015 11:45

Maybe he's put on weight or it broke or he lost it? I stopped when I put on weIghtfield. I also take it off for work and keep forgetting to put it back on

category12 · 22/12/2015 11:48

You're not a gossipy group? Hmm

Original poster
CantEvenThinkOfANickname · 22/12/2015 12:01

What? You lot never talk about you friends or worry about them or hope they're ok or hope there's an innocent explanation for a change?
Really?

Yes gandalf. I suppose it could be something like that.

OP posts:
Twinklefuck · 22/12/2015 13:48

My husband hasn't worn his in around a year, he actually lost it and is so embarrassed if anyone mentions it, I occasionally forget to put mine back on but can go a week or longer with it sat in the en suite.

We both love our marriage, it's no reflection on that! If be a bit puzzled and disappointed if anyone who claims to be a friend suggested anything was amiss because of a little ring.

BackInTheRealWorld · 22/12/2015 13:50

if he is your friend why can't you just ask him?

Original poster
CantEvenThinkOfANickname · 22/12/2015 14:06

Don't want to ask!

So many couples have separated over the past couple of years and I think it's just the hope it isn't happening again.

Twinkle it being lost is a good one.

No one was suggesting anything was amis, but couples do separate.

It's not a big thing. Just wanted to hear some plausible innocuous reasons. That's all. Thanks

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/12/2015 14:15

I suppose if he's always worn it and he used to mention his wife a lot then no longer referred to her, (cue odd, non committal response ), I would privately wonder if things weren't happy at home.

spudlike1 · 22/12/2015 15:10

Ask him ?

spudlike1 · 22/12/2015 15:19

Otherwise your gossiping about a good friend. Which isn't nice on here or anywhere

BackInTheRealWorld · 22/12/2015 15:46

Maybe he could do with your support?

Tiggeryoubastard · 22/12/2015 15:49

If he is, as you say, your friend, he will tell you what he wants you to know when he wants to tell you. Assuming there actually is something to tell. Back off, don't force it. Respect him.

whaleshark · 22/12/2015 15:52

Does he do a physical job? I stopped wearing mine a couple of years ago after someone at work had a nasty accident involving catching their finger, and pulling most of the skin off along with their ring. Could it be something like that?

AlmaMartyr · 22/12/2015 15:58

DH lost weight a few years back and his wedding ring was very loose since. He kept wearing it until it fell off in a snowball fight on Dartmoor last winter. We found it (somehow!) and he hasn't worn it since because he doesn't want to lose it. We'll get it resized at some point but not got round to it yet. Nothing sinister at all. He also used to stop wearing his wedding ring periodically because he'd get bad eczema underneath it easily.

experiencedpresenthider · 22/12/2015 16:46

I became suddenly allergic to my wedding ring so haven't worn it for months. I'd be surprised if anyone had noticed really. (not sure DH has!). It's nice that you are worried about your friend, but I think a quiet "is everything ok at home?" would be more effective than speculating about this-as other pp have mentioned, it could be for a very minor reason.

ghnocci · 22/12/2015 16:47

DH had to stop wearing his this year after he dislocated his finger.

CharmingChampignon · 22/12/2015 16:57

DH took his off to do some DIY and promptly lost it - I've thought no more about it tbh.

CharmingChampignon · 22/12/2015 16:59

And I'm not wearing mine due to pregnancy.

NerrSnerr · 22/12/2015 17:31

He can't be that much of a good friend if you haven't asked him- especially as you're gossiping about it behind his back.

Dipankrispaneven · 22/12/2015 17:34

I don't wear mine because I lost it. I keep hoping to find something similar so I can start wearing it again, but it was an unusual design and I've never been able to track down a duplicate.

Shutthatdoor · 22/12/2015 17:37

He can't be that much of a good friend if you haven't asked him- especially as you're gossiping about it behind his back

^ this

Dreamiesrcatopium · 22/12/2015 17:46

My fingers swell up due to steroid medication I have to take due to an auto immune disease, I have actually bought a set of siver/ cubic zirconia rings in a bigger size now as it's been happening so often and I feel odd without my rings on. There are lots of medicines which have this side effect. Could he be poorly and not wish to discuss it?

Joysmum · 22/12/2015 18:43

I'm with the OP, there may well be a problem and being concerned isn't the same as gossiping.

Are you friendly enough to bring up that you may be very wide of the mark but that you've noticed a change in him lately and that if he ever needs affirms you're available to chat things through with.