My marriage is over, why don't I feel anything?

[IsabellaofFrance]

Was going to name change but I can't be bothered.

Last night, DH and I decided that our marriage is over. Its been coming for a while so it isn't a massive shock. He is going to move out after Christmas.

I don't feel sad, I don't feel anything. All I can think about is the practical aspects. We have a rental property which we (the children and I) will move back into when the tenancy is up (please don't flame me). DH can keep this house and rent downstairs out as a separate flat.

All I can think about is how the kids will hate moving back to the other, smaller house, and how upset the tenants will be.

Yesterday I took DD to see Nativity Three and she cried her eyes out half way through the movie because she thought the people wouldn't have a happy ending, she is going to take it so badly.

why does he get to keep the house?
if its bigger and better surely you and the kids should stay there and he can take the flat.

I can't afford to run this house at all, the other house is easier to manage and much, much cheaper.

Our current house, DH could rent out the bottom section as a flat to help him pay this mortgage.

I'm sorry. Maybe you don't feel sad as such as its for the best?
I hope your children don't take it too badly

The opposite of Love isn't hate, it is indifference and that seems to be where you are at....

I didn't feel sad when I decided i didn't want to be with ex any more. Felt relief and got on with the practicalities.
Fifteen months on I have never felt sad.

How old are your children?

I agree with PPs - I think when you know something's coming, it's more of a relief to finally get it out in the open. It was the same for me when my marriage ended, although I'd shed a lot of tears before getting to that point.

When will you tell the DC?

We will tell the children after Christmas, they are 15, 8 and 7.

I just don't know how to be.

My stbxh separated just before Christmas last year and although I have felt sad on a few occasions, O don't miss him. In fact a year on I'm often relieved and content. I'm quite at peace even spending Christmas alone without ds. I too left our house, asked tennants to move out and downsized! It's been fine and I'd rather be here and happy. Much easier to manage with all that I now do and ds is happy.

if its any consolation Isabella, my wife is divorcing me, which she did to prevent me from makong the first move, She moved my son to her sisers house to preven any contact since september of this year, and now is doing all she can to evict me from her house.

There is no Christmas for me, I am all alone and have been harrassed by her and her mother and sister since july when I lost my job for standing up to a corrupt boss. I think you should stay in the bigger house and rent out the flat below and send your husband to the smaller accomodation or wherever he wants as you have the kids to take care of, and they won't like the smaller place anyway. Divorce is a horrible thing, bit necessary for you to move on with legal divion of assets and also the peace of mind that you have an adequately aized place to live with your children.

Its probably the natural ending to a relationship if you're feeling nothing. I felt that when my first marriage fell apart. Nothing much except relief and determination to make sure my kids came out of it unscathed. The next twelve months were amazing. I found myself again, became confident, happier, more interesting to others and never looked back. That will be you very soon.

I feel exactly the same about my marriage but my husband doesn't. I'm 40 soon and feel like I just have to accept this is my life as I have two children with him. I wish you lots of luck, I wish I could do it x