Being harrassed by my Mother to come to their house on boxing day, but really don't like my sisters inlaws

[Overrunderthemistletoe]

They have come for the last two years, and I really can't stand them. My sister has offered to go to them, but they say "we love your family so much, we love coming to .....blah blah".
I like my ils but they live ages away and are elderly, so we can't stay with them.
My Mother has pulled the whole, "you'll upset me if you don't come". I feel aggrieved that they put this pressure on me. My parents have also told me that they will not be best pleased if I upset sisters inlaws. FFG So if I am carolled into going and then can't stand their presumptious and patronising ways, and say something I will be in the dog house.
So why does she try and make me go. It makes me mad.
Or should I just think, "its only for a couple of hours" Thats what Mum wants me to do, fo rthe good of the family grrr. The thing is, if I don't make a stand now, it will be every bloody christmas How many hours will that add up to then?

I guess its not that interesting really, never mind, I feel better for venting anyway

I am right up there with you honey. I have to visit my inlaws on Christmas day and the related family and it makes my skin creep. All sitting round pretending we like each other whilst wishing I was at home with my own enjoying the day......I will eat my shorts for DPs sake and keep wishing for a change. My advice would be, she's your mum, you go if you want to see her that day and bugger the rest.

You could go this once.
The secret is not to get into a whingy justifying yourself cylce.

If you go,do it with good grace.

If you don't,enjoy your day at home.

Acting defensive and angry makes you into a target for more aggro.

Thanks Frumpy, I can always rely on you to find me, and I didn't even need to do a link

My other thought is that I'll do it this year and maybe a couple more but after that my children will be of an age that sitting around people they don't know that well against playing in your house with gifts will tip the scales.

I seek em here, I seek em there lots of love your number one FAN [hoooohaaaaa]

Maybe Frumpy, but the thing is, they all got rat arsed so am more worried about exposing the children to that, as well.
God, why can't it be simple

Remember you choose whether to feel bad about it or not.
Choose not to,when you don't go.

Lot to be said for other people making the food and clearing up though...

Thanks Moondog, I feel more angry with my Mother (just for a change) rather than bad iyswim. I can't stand this emotional blackmail crap. Its her inability to say no to this couple that bugs me, then every one suffers. Even my sister doesn't really like them.
Then because she can't say "well its lovely to see you but we can't actually do it this year, because blah blah, what about next year" She starts going on about "what if you were lonely and living away from your kids in 30 years time" I like to think, I wouldn't go around inflicting myself on other peoples families, cos I don't get on with my own

What Moondog said.

Thanks every one, you've bolstered me up. I will remain firm, Caroligula at least we agree on this