Moving in together - Panic time!

[MB1981]

I've been with my partner for just over a year, we are both in our 30's. He has 2 children from a previous relationship, who he sees about 4 times a week. We've been friends for 3 years, so have known each other a while. We have a very comfortable relationship with a great sex life, trust, honesty and the same life goals. Recently he's been talking about us moving in together next year. For some reason, I am completely freaking out!

I keep thinking about my last serious relationship. We moved in together after a year and almost straight away our sex life fizzled out, we grew apart and starting arguing all the time. I think I'm just scared that this relationship may head the same way - the honeymoon period ending and reality setting in.
Due to our busy work patterns, his children, my studying - we only see each other once a week (we do speak every day though). So once a week to living together is a big jump.

My mum is a huge worrier and suffers from anxiety. I always thought I wasn't like her but maybe I am. I feel silly to think like this, because I'll never have a future with anybody if I can't bring myself to live with them. Is it normal to feel this? I should be excited about this next step; not worried and anxious. He's the man I want to be with so why am I feeling like this?

Once a week to living together is a big jump

If it doesnt feel right, then you are not ready to live together

What is the rush ?

Also he has children

Does he want more children with you ?

Suggest trying a few more days together first

Maybe you're anxious because you feel it's too soon? No shame in saying to him "I'm not ready for that quite yet - but let's keep it in mind for the future."

If you do think you're ready but you're just worried, maybe you can set up some periods of time where one of you can move in with the other for say a week at a time?

Maybe move slower, in him or you having stuff at eachother's and seeing each other more often? Start staying when the children are there too?
But you can't predict how living together will be like.

I wouldn't be so quick to assume you have anxiety problem. This is a big step and your innerds are telling you something. A year isn't long and once a week to co-habiting is massive esp when children are involved. That's a whole family you are becoming part of there. Take your time. Move at a pace you are comfortable. Perhaps work up to it more slowly.

I think pps are right. You should build up to living together. You shouldn't feel so worried so just ask him to slow down a bit. If he's decent he won't mind.