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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

online games 'chat'-am i being unreasonable?

44 replies

divastrop · 14/12/2006 20:28

my dp is very into gaming and regularly plays an online game.on this game,the characters 'chat' to each other.
the trouble is,i see it as being like a chat room,with everybody chatting and having a laugh and sometimes flirting.i would be very pissed off if dp was going in chatrooms,i really hate them and i would consider it a betrayal of trust.dp says that all he ever talks about in this chat is the game itself,he doesnt care or often even know whether the other people are male or female,young or old etc.he never gives out any personal information about himself and he says if anybody asked his name/location etc he would tell them to mind their own business.

but it eats away at me all the time,the thought that he is chatting to women online.i keep thinking its just a matter of time before he gets chatting to a woman he really gets on with(after all,the women on there are into computer games like him,whereas i cant see the point in them)and leaves me.

i am 6 months pregnant and tbh i hate being pg,i feel unattractive and like my life is on hold,but dp is still the same as when i met him.he is younger than me and i felt he was out of my league before i was pregnant.now i dont know why he wants to be with me atall.

i just dont know what to do about this.ive told dp how i feel but he says im being unreasonable and that he can talk to who he wants,and that i should trust him.sorry for the long post but this has been on my mind for so long and i havent been able to find a way of dealing with it.

OP posts:

toy23 · 14/12/2006 21:28

my dp has gone bright red blushing lol

MossletoeAndWine · 14/12/2006 21:28

Diva I'm like you I don't have any pg friends in rl, but coming on here is a great help.

I am sorry to hear you have been feeling insecure. If you lived up near the 'pool I'd invite you round for a nice brew, a packet of mince pies and a pep talk!!!

You'll just have to make do with a virtual [frgin]

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 14/12/2006 21:31

I was wondering who Toy was

Just be understanding that she is crazy and hormonal, and all will be fine

Original poster

divastrop · 14/12/2006 21:32

moss-im only about 90 miles away,i think you are the closest one to me on the ante-natal thread.

OP posts:

MossletoeAndWine · 14/12/2006 21:33

Yes quite Toy23, hormonal it is, I kicked my dh out of our bedroom the other day because he wanted to clean the windowsill whereas I wanted to sleep

toy23 · 14/12/2006 21:33

She may be bright red but she is still beautiful

MossletoeAndWine · 14/12/2006 21:34

Diva where abouts are you?

You've probably already said, but I can't remember.

Pgcy addled brain

swifter · 14/12/2006 21:36

see divastrop!!! he luurves you!

Original poster

divastrop · 14/12/2006 21:38

is there any particular reason why he wanted to clean the windowsil??

OP posts:

MossletoeAndWine · 14/12/2006 21:40

Diva, I don't know. He sometimes gets these weird tidying urges at random times.

Maybe he is nesting?

Original poster

divastrop · 14/12/2006 21:42

toy-please go and play your game.im going to be good now.honest.

OP posts:

toy23 · 14/12/2006 21:46

bully fine will do X X X

toy23 · 14/12/2006 21:49

right she has gone whats she been saying about me lol

toy23 · 14/12/2006 21:58

thats typical im posting on hear and she is playing a game

kittyschristmascrackers · 14/12/2006 22:31

Diva, from what I have gleaned of your dp and your relationship with him over the last few months, it is clear that he loves you and has a great loyalty to you and your children. I really think that your feelings at the mo are about your general insecurities and low self esteem.
Remember what that book on cbt says, that those who feel crap about themselves will look at any situation and twist it to re enforce what they feel about themselves? It isn't the truth, it's just your perspective on things. Keep reminding yourself of that and get back to the book asap xx

toy23 · 14/12/2006 23:30

Thats what i have been saying but im only her dp she never listens to what i have to say also she blames me for getting her preg sems to forget it takes 2.

toy23 · 14/12/2006 23:31

I called myself toy23 because im her toy and 23 years of age i wont b posting again she dont like it not fair sob sob

Original poster

divastrop · 14/12/2006 23:35

kitty-thanks for your reply.i was working on the book till i moved house then it went out of the window and ive not got back to it yet.think i will have to!

OP posts:

Rosydingdongmerrily · 15/12/2006 09:38

Diva I would have been exactly the same if I was still at the beginning of my relationship with dh and pregnant. I used to get SO jealous cuz he is a big fat flirt and always has a female fanclub. He loves it when I'm jealous
Anyway I know he just loves people and he could have gone off with any one of the women chasing him but isn't interested in anything more than a chat and a laugh.
Its horrible though, I hate being jealous. Its so much better when I feel great and know what I've got without the fear. Though of course when you love someone there is always the worry there of losing them somehow. But we are here to love and not to sit alone trying to be safe.

My sister (called clare) has a 'dishy' dp and really worries about losing him when her esteem is low. she plays online games but isn't interested in finding a man there, just unwinding.

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