Ive been away from my H for a few weeks, not by choice, lets just say its been very tough. Whilst i was away (staying at mums) he was very insecure. Demanding i commit to our relationship but in a way that would not inspire you to want to. One minute i love you, cant live without you, next minute dragging up instances from the past and quizzing me on what happened with this or that guy. Being sexually explicit and insulting. He did imply on a couple of occassions that he wanted to divorce, if i dont commit. Which means essentially giving up wanting to move home and going along with his master plan where i am isolated from family and friends and can't work. It is very hard for me to give that up but it feels like he wants my soul or its over.
I came back 2 days ago. Its been a bit strained but ok. I have tried very hard to get back to normal for the DC, trying not to go on about home, being affectionate, doing housework etc.
Almost the first thing he brings up is this woman who is an old family friend, how her xh killed himself. Lots of detail. Was weird.
Then today i met him to buy a xmas tree, to choose together, but while we were in the shop he said he had to go back to the office, raised hus voice "i cant be fucking shopping i have too much to do". I said but its my birthday tomorrow, i think i said this because i knew he hadn't done anything yet (not that i want a fanfare but for the kids to see). He said its not your birthday today and then said he has his work party tomorrow. Its his company.
I was upset, not seen him for weeks and i'd asked him last week if he had made any plans as he's done this before (awkward time of year for a birthday). He said he hadn't. To be fair it was someone else organising it but pretty sure he was consulted on the date.
Anyway, he left the shop. Then msgd to say he was changing the party. I said please dont, damage already done. Next msg its changed to next wk. So im like "ok" and he then shouts at me saying there's no pleasing you, you could at least be grateful"
That was the last i heard. Its past midnight where we are. Colleague of his said he left the office at 3 to go for drinks. He wasnt even working, didn't have to go back to the office because he had so much to do clearly. And its my birthday tomorrow and he'll be hungover and the kids havent even done a card for me. Realise that makes me sound like a spoilt child a bit but im so upset. Sorry its long and vague in parts.