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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He said he was leaving...

7 replies

BrunhildaOfTheSea · 17/12/2015 12:30

After Christmas. We are separated but still share a bed.

We live in a rented HA house and he recently got a lump sum from a back payment he was owed so it was perfect timing, it meant he could put a deposit down for a rented flat, afford to furnish etc.

I was upset at first that he was going but now we are just getting on each others nerves and I've had enough.

I started to prepare for him leaving, mentally and also physically by clearing stuff out and making plans.

Now he has said that he doesn't want to rent privately and he wants to try for a HA flat/house.

Tbh I'm angry and upset because I know that he won't get one of those for a very long time. He seems to think he will be priority because he has a letter from his psychiatrist, but I know that won't do shit.

I was all geared up for this and now I feel like he's going to be here forever.

OP posts:

Offred · 17/12/2015 12:39

I think you are right. He needs a rocket up him. Ask him where he is going to go while he waits for a HA place because he can fuck off if he thinks he is staying with you?

firesidechat · 17/12/2015 12:44

Will he even get one if he is still living with you? Wouldn't he need to be homeless and get emergency housing first? Also would a single man be a priority?

Offred · 17/12/2015 12:48

If his mental health condition counts as a disability he should be prioritised but he won't get anywhere while he is living with you IMO.

Offred · 17/12/2015 12:49

If he is just seen as a single man with no DC and no disabilities then even if he is sleeping on the street he'll just be given info about how to find privately rented accommodation.

Original poster

BrunhildaOfTheSea · 17/12/2015 13:00

He gets the higher amount of ESA because of MH issues. Not quite disability but the one below I think. He would be having the children half the time.

I'm just so stressed. The waiting times here for HA properties are ridiculous.
He keeps saying he will go in January then saying he wants to try and get a HA place. Those 2 things are not possible together!

OP posts:

Offred · 17/12/2015 13:02

If he doesn't get PIP/DLA it is not likely they will accept he is disabled.

Offred · 17/12/2015 13:03

He may qualify and should claim if he is wanting a HA property though.

Flip