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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He asked if I loved him..why?

34 replies

Happyandsadzzz · 16/12/2015 20:21

I was lying in bed with my new fella and we had just been chatting about the future etc.
He turns around holds my hand then asks if I love him?
Why does he want to know that?
He hasn't said I love you to me.
Now in wondering if he loves me.
I said no and laughed.
I think I do but have difficulty showing my emotions.

OP posts:

maccax · 17/12/2015 12:48

My male perspective:
You're old friends, you've moved to a new level of intimacy, you're chatting about the future.......I'd be thinking "is this what love feels like?.....cos I like it!"
If you love him, just tell him.
Yes you're vulnerable, but so is he....
Love and support each other.
Good luck!

Original poster

Happyandsadzzz · 17/12/2015 13:31

He did have a few drinks too which led me to think hmmmm maybe he was just drunk.

OP posts:

wintersocks · 17/12/2015 13:57

go and get drunk with him again, blurt it out, job done

Runnerd · 17/12/2015 14:05

Another vote for getting drunk and going for it. I'd been feeling it with my oh from a few weeks in but was too scared to say anything, then at about 3 or 4 months after alot of wine i told him he didn't have to say anything back but that I loved him. He did a big sigh of relief, said he loved me too and had been dying to tell me for ages!

Do it!!

Original poster

Happyandsadzzz · 17/12/2015 14:12

That's the only time I feel confident to say how I feel when I've had a drink too.
Any other time I'm all in my head worrying but after a few drinks I just fell people exactly how I'm feeling.

OP posts:

KanyeWesticle · 17/12/2015 15:32

He probably was feeling the same way as you - not wanting to be the first to say so, in case you didn't feel the same way.

Someone has to be the first one, and now, after that conversation, is the time to do it.

Original poster

Happyandsadzzz · 17/12/2015 18:01

Imagine if he turns round and says
Sorry I don't love you

OP posts:

ohYestoYestyn · 17/12/2015 18:31

tbh why is it the OP who has to say it first? He started the subject so why not just say it himself and not put OP on the spot before she could think!

XiCi · 17/12/2015 19:14

To me him asking ' do you love me' sounds a bit needy and I probably would have just turned it straight back round to him with a 'why? Do you love me'. I dont think you should feel compelled to declare your love when you don't feel ready for it just because of his drunken outburst. I'd just go on as normal and address it only if you feel it has turned things awkward between you.

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