Should I be more obvious?

[lucy4113]

Morning all,

I've been seeing a guy for a few weeks, I like him a lot, I fancy him.

Our first date confirmed we fancied each other, lets just say it went pretty damn well.

Next few dates were day time dates so pretty civilised, last date was on Friday, he came over, we chilled in front of the tv and I gave him a massage, but of kissing.

I didn't make a move because he's been working crazy hours the last week or so (he's a builder) and mentions often how tired he is - so yknow I just wanted to make him feel good and to relax.

I'm starting to think he might be a bit insecure. He is a confident person, but has anyone come across a guy that appears confident, then when they like you they literally need you to spell it out to them and make first moves sometimes?

I can't think when I've ever really had to make the first move before, but I guess I'll step up and do it if he's a bit nervous or unsure if I like him.

Don't want this to just fizzle out if I could just step up and be obvious with him instead.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this before? And were they pleased when you took control?

I just thought I'd see what people thought, Im not stressing it.

Wasn't sure if I should show more willing in case he's insecure about whether I like him or not, I felt like he needed a fair bit of encouragement/confirmation I liked him in general.

Which has left me wondering if he likes me.

I'll of course just ask straight out at some point. Don't know why a guy would ask me if I was friend vibing the day after I'd slept with him

I was thinking maybe he was shy but you have already had sex. Maybe he really was just too tired. I would wait and see what happens on the next date.

Well, why didn't you say that to him at the time?

He might have been too tired. Though to be honest, isn't the very early days when you have sex even though you are tired?

Anyway...

Forget him.

I'm more concerned that you're putting all this in yourself, blaming yourself for not being obvious, inventing insecurity for him, deciding to make moves etc...

Just stop with all that.

Go on another date if you like him. Tell him you're concerned about this friend vibe shit, and that you're only interested in dating leading to a potential relationship, no friendship. And what does he want?

Just ASK.

And don't make up poor little shy boy crap to let him get away with not talking to you. He's not shy.

You had sex with him on the first date and now you've started a thread about how to make it more obvious that you want to have sex with him?

I think he means that HE felt a friend vibe, but was texting you whether it's the same for you. Some people aer not direct, and when saying 'I thought you felt a friend vibe' they mean 'I felt that' bt too tactful to say.

This also would explain why he's not too passionate second time round minus alcohol, plus citing tiredness. If he felt passionate he'd not go on about tiredness, he'd either not meet up that day or just kept quiet about it. Seems like he likes you and your massages and now that you told me you were really feeling it, he wants to see how it goes for him.