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Original poster

Me again - more advice needed!

5 replies

wobblywingbatgirl · 14/12/2015 21:07

Hi sorry to keep doing this but I do t have many people I can turn to. I've been on here a few times getting excellent advice.

Long story short - he left after 16 years and one school (7) 3 months ago. Went to ow and her three young children. He took do out for tea tonight and started pushing her into meeting them all and also about going on holiday next year. She is adamant she doesn't want to buy he says it's because she's worried about me so he's also having a go at me about it but I do try to remain impartial as its not fair on her to voice opinions.

Couple of things bothering me - feel physically sick at the thought of her slotting into their cosy new setup (she has three girls under 13), let alone my dc going on holiday. Secondly I really thought the odds were stacked against their relationship working but hey, it just seems to go from strength to strength and planning next years holiday seems to reinforce that.

another hurdle but I'm just trying to sort my head and feelings out.

OP posts:
Original poster
wobblywingbatgirl · 14/12/2015 21:08

Duh auto text - we have one DD of 7 years old - not one school!

OP posts:
Imbroglio · 14/12/2015 22:15

He shouldn't be talking about holidays with her just yet. Too soon for a 7 year old who hasn't even met the new partner or her children.

TimeToMuskUp · 14/12/2015 22:22

You can say no to the holiday. I'm probably going to get flamed for this because Dads have rights, too, but when DS1 was little I didn't let him go abroad with his Dad, his Dad's DP and her DC. His Dad had only been with her for a few months and for me it was far too much far too soon. Listen to your DD; if she doesn't want to go, make sure she doesn't. Be honest with your Ex that it's got to be what is best for DD. If he's a rational, decent parent, he'll compromise and work with you to make sure she's as happy as she can be. If he digs his heels in and acts the twat, you'll know he's putting himself first.

IamlovedbyG · 14/12/2015 22:34

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Bogeyface · 14/12/2015 23:05

Its only three months, the shine is still on it.

There is still plenty of time for them to realise that this is not the magical new heaven the anticipated. He want DD to slot in so he can forget the trauma he caused, but I would refuse to allow it. Maybe suggest family therapy to help her deal with it, if he refuses then you know for sure that this isnt about her but about him and what he wants.

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