Support for Friend

[SellFridges]

I've had a quick browse, so forgive me if this is covered elsewhere.

I'm looking for some ideas on how to support a friend who appears to be in an abusive relationship. She's admitted levels of financial abuse - he won't pay for the DC's activities or clothes for example, and keeps money from a payrise for himself while she took the financial hit when she had to reduce hours to do childcare as he wont allow the DC to go to a childminder or similar. She also admitted that he calls her fat (size 10) and he's constantly having a go at her for the state of the house. I know the second bits are just proof he's unpleasant rather than abusive but I suspect if I dug deeper there'd be more worrying things.

She says she has thought of leaving but won't do that to the kids.

Is there any help I can give? We live 100 miles apart

Signpost her to information about financial and emotional abuse, offer a temporary refuge (if you can) and whatever emotional/practical support is feasible. Point her to mumsnet.

Give her info about the Freedom Programme online or (even better) in person if she can.

Thank you. I'll look into those things. She doesn't have independent internet access - she has a crappy phone while he has an iPhone - so it's a bit tricky. I'll read up though and make some suggestions to her.

Womens Aid will give you advice if your a worried about your friend:

I’m worried about someone else - Women's Aid

Women’s Aid defines domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, by a partner or ex-partner.

Tel: 0117 944 44 11 (general enquiries only)