I am feeling very low and just can't seem to see a way out and how things are ever going to get better.
In a nutshell, I have had a tough year, splitting from abusive ex, and seem to be in the process of going LC/NC with my parents who are extremely emotionally abusive. (they are cutting me out rather than the other way around. They are punishing me & I think they are ashamed of me). I have a small dc.
Have not been myself for over a year and have been slowly cutting myself off from friends etc. Just in survival mode really. On ADs.
Christmas is making me feel down. My ex oh's family want me to stay with them for xmas. They are being very nice about it. The alternative would be me staying at home with ds and ex oh. That was the original plan.
So many people really want me to go to ex inlaws. So I feel that I am letting people down if I don't (including ds who will most probably have a ball at theirs).
But it would be like playng happy families when it is not happy families. I would feel like an idiot.
But because I am feeling so crap and i am going to have to spend it with ex oh anyway even if I don't go, I am now thinking sod it I may aswell go to his family. What's the difference? It will probably be ok anyway because ds will be with me and he will love it. And I do get on with his family there is a lot of history.
The other alternative is to just let ex oh take ds to inlaws for xmas and then spend it on my own so that everyone gets what they want and I can just see ds as soon as he gets back.
Sorry I know this sound really rambling and probably sounds a bit odd but I just wondered if anyone could offer any advice, thank you.