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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would you have done?

5 replies

Sion · 13/12/2006 20:50

We recently went to Spain, there were 5 of us altogether, me, my DH, My DD (from previous relationship) and DH's parents.

DD is 13 and she doesn't get on with DH or his parents but we all made the effort for the holiday.

We were staying for 2 weeks, when we got there DH's parents said that they always go for a sleep (siesta?) in an afternoon when they go to Spain and that we should too, me and DH decided to go along with this but DD wasnt happy saying it was wasting holiday time. We told her she was free to go down to the pool or whatever whilst we slept for an hour or so. The first day she sat in the room playing on her mobile phone games and after the first day she said she was so bored sitting on her own in the apartment and asked us to stop the 'afternoon naps', we felt she was just acting up so told her the siesta's would be continuing and she would just have to ammuse herself if she didn't want to sleep. Must admit I felt a little uncomfortable leaving her on her own whilst we were all supposed to be on holiday together but at the same time I wanted everyone to get along and not to be giving in to her whims every 5 minutes.

Anyway the 2 weeks flew by, I thought we'd all had a great time etc, a few days later I spoke to my sister who told me that DD had been disapointed with the holiday as she had been left on her own alot and made to sit in a hotel room for hours on end! Obviously she's made it sound much worse than it was, it was only for an hour a day and it's not as if she was locked in, we told her she could go and do her own thing as long as she didnt leave the hotel grounds.

So was I in the wrong for going along with the siesta's or was she just being a stroppy teen?

OP posts:
MerryPiffmas · 13/12/2006 20:52

My ds is nearly 13 and if I wanted a siesta on holiday he'd be fine about it - 1 hr a day is not long.
If you had the nap just to please PIL then I think your dd was fair enough to be cross.

SherlockLGJ · 13/12/2006 20:55

and not to be giving in to her whims every 5 minutes.

So you pandered to you IL's....

I would be pissed off also.

PinkTinsel · 13/12/2006 20:55

agree with merrypiffmas, sounds like she was more upset that you were more concerned with keeping the PIL's happy than spending time with her.

if ye didn't personally need the siestas why have them for their sakes? very odd imo

KezzaG · 13/12/2006 20:58

Agree with previous comments, it was her holiday too and you did only go along with siesta idea for the sake of your in laws.

If you didnt want to sleep that could have been an hour for you and your dd to spend together. If she doesnt get on with your dh normally this might have been some really nice bonding time together. You may of course already do this but holidays are a more relaxed way of being togther IMO.

chubbleigh · 13/12/2006 21:49

Personally going on holiday at 13 with my father, step-mother and her parents (in my case) would have been my idea of hell on earth even if it was in a nice hotel. I remember getting postcards from Pergatory from my sister on these sorts of holidays once I was old enough to say no-way, not going. When she got back me and my mum used let her have a week of what ever she wanted to make up for it. We laugh about it now and regard it as a kind of low level torture. These sorts of holidays are one of the drawbacks of being part of a step-family in my opinion, cancelled out possibly my getting two lots of Christmas and birthday presents, but only just.
I'm really sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear but going on holiday with a mix of generations can be tricky at the best of times but step-grandparents? Sorry again but my sympathies are entirely with your daughter, just thinking about it makes me shudder at the memories.

Must add was and still am very fond of step-gp's, they were always lovely to me.

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