I AM FUMING!!! - POOR DS!

[kittylettekissingsanta]

Its DS1s 2nd birthday,

we had a tea party, MIL didnt come because ex-hubby FIL was there,

anyone else think this is bang out of order??

theyve been speratled 6 years ffs!

my son is only 2, hows he suppost to understand why she isnt there??

THEN MIL turns up at our house at 7pm with presents from DHs brother and fiance - they werent bothering to come see him either!!!

they live 10 minutes away and drive!! ok the fiancee IS pregnant and a few days over due - but she manages to go shopping!

PLUS dHS NANA AND GRANDAD havent called or come to see DS either, and they live literally round the corner, 30 seconds away!!

so out of DFs family one person has bothered to conme to his party - his dad!

when his mum came round i was fuming - she asked what was wrong but i didnt say - it just causes too much grief!

im pissed with his BIL really too, i know shes pregnant - but when that babies born we will be expected to bus it with 2 kids under two to the hospital!!

should i bring it up??

or when SIL gives birth should i give MIL the pressies and not visit her in hospital?? let her know how it feels??

TBH DS is oblivious to it all, all my family were here so hes fine, but if i let them 'get away with it' now, they do it when hes older, and he will be hurt!

advice??

ffs the sil is 9 months pregnant and spent previous day shopping, most likely for christmas, and is probably exhausted. HER world is revolving around HER baby at the moment, just as kittylettekissingsanta's world is revolving around her ds.

Who knows, perhaps the mil can't stand the sight of her ex and thought better to pop in afterwards rather than cause a scene. She still came, she still brought gifts.

didn't realise family relationships worked on a point scoring system.

kittylettekissingsanta

I'm Sorry but i think you need to grow up and except that the world does not revolve around you.

My parents have been seperated/divorced for the last 16 years, and although he and my stepmum were invited to my wedding 6yrs ago (my mum also wrote to him to say that she didn't have a probelm with them coming) they choose not to come, neither did my brother.

Yes i was upset, but i was not angry as it was their choice, and i was not going to let ruin my day.

Are you going to always remember that you ds birthday was ruin because they didn't come or the fact you,dp and child had a very nice day?

My friend and I often talk about how let down we feel by our parents and in-laws for non-shows at family events and generally being useless on rare visits and have decided that the fault lies with us, we just expect too much from them. My family are a warring mess and use christenings, birthdays and even funerals to seek revenge on each other. I feel sad that they won't come to dk's do's in case someone-or-other is there but have resolved to focus on my kids more and not let them sap me of my emotional energy with their pettiness. Also, whenever they do pitch up I take lots of photos so when the kids are older they can see that their relatives were (occasionally) interested in them.
I don't think any of this is easy though, but know that it is more me that is hurt than the kids.
I know someone else has mentioned this already, but DON'T FORGET you won't be allowed to take your dks into the maternity ward - unless you have a very liberal hospital! Hope you feel better about the whole thing soon.