FIL probably has lung cancer but DH doesn't know...

[chicaguapa]

...and I don't know whether to tell him yet. DH's stepmum has told me they have found a tumour on FIL's lung and they will get the results on 28th Dec. She has told only me so I can decide whether to tell DH now or wait until after Christmas/ 28th Dec. Bloody hell! What a weight to carry!

What do you think? Tell him or wait?

I would tell him as if I were your DH I'd be pretty p'd off that you kept something so important. There will be other Xmas times for your DH which he will enjoy - he needs to be able to spend as much time with his dad as he can if he may be so ill.

at your DH's stepmum for putting this onto you.

Am I right in thinking that you are in Chicago ATM??

Yes, well DH and his step-mum aren't close and I don't have much time for her. My reluctant is because DH has quite a negative outlook (he says realistic!) so I know that his dad will be as good as dead when I tell DH the news. FIL is a heavy smoker so I am fully expecting him to have lung cancer and I know DH will feel the same.

I think I will tell him but I need to know that it's for the right reasons and not just to relieve the burden of knowledge. In the same way that I would be able to bear not telling him if I knew it was for the best.

I would tell him if you think he can cope. In my experience witholding information about something this serious can be very upsetting for the person who is being kept in the dark when they eventually find out. Also, if you tell him about the tumour now he will have time to get used to the possibility that the results will not be good rather than have them sprung on him after Christmas.
My father died of cancer six years ago. The doctors were very circumspect in the amount of information they gave us, with the result that I didn't go to see him before he went into the operation he needed to remove the tumour. I was living six thousand miles away at the time and the family kept telling me that it would be too worrying for him if I turned up before the op, so I decided to wait until he was 'in recovery'. He died on the operating table. I will never forgive myself for not going, but most of all I wish I'd had access to all the information about his condition.
So that why my advice is 'conceal nothing'. I know your step MIL has the best motives in wanting to protect your DH but I think he may need the information. Having said that, you know your DH best and how he will react.
Good luck whatever you decide and I hope the test results prove better than you fear.

absolutely agree with pennies.

Has his Dad been ill? He may suspect it anyway and if he knows for sure, it's sometimes better than not knowing. I personally think that he's an adult, give him the info, what he does with it is then his choice, but at least he then has a choice. If you don't tell him and something happens, or, Heaven forbid, it's his last Christmas and you knew, it'd be his biggest regret and he may never forgive you. Sorry you're in such a crappy position.