How to be a good role model for child when life is crap?

[phoenix1973]

All I want to know is how to be a good and inspirational role model for my child when I am not happy, cannot find a job, suffer with Aspergers and am not happy with the relationship with my partner?

My child is a joy and she is a source of immense pride for me. She makes me want to do better.

However, I am not in a good place myself at the moment but don't want this to affect her.

I act what I consider "normal" in front of her. Because I don't have a job at the moment (not for lack of looking and applying) I feel less of a person and not good enough.

Her father annoys me sometimes as I don't feel he does enough to engage with her after he gets in from work. It's dinner, then ipad or xbox or EastEnders and if she wants to talk to him about her day, you can just see he is itching to tune out with his electronics. Its really depressing to watch and my heart aches for her.

How do I keep things normal for her and make sure she grows into a strong, self-assured and confident adult when I am a flake?

Any advice please??

If your child is a joy and a source of immense pride ethen you really are doing ok. Lots of mums stay at home so you are no different to them so stop worrying.

I think that fact that you want it to happen makes it more likely that you'll achieve it with her.
My child is a joy and she is a source of immense pride for me that sentence alone demonstrates what a great mum you strive to be. It;s parents who don't show an interest that are the problem, you are good enough, you're a mum with to a little girl who is a joy to you. That doesn't happen my itself you know, it taken years of hard work and input from you

Do you want to stay with your partner?
What does he bring to the table?
Is it that you are reliant on him financially?

It sounds like you are a lovely mum. My mum never had a job, and I think she is wonderful, it's not the be all and end all, and it also didn't stop me pursuing a good career. When we have difficult patches (partner with ongoing mh issues) I try and give my kids ways of understanding and contextualizing dh's behaviour, without being judgemental. Perhaps you could explain that he's a bit stressed when he comes in from work and needs to relax on his own before he's ready to chat?

As has already been said you sound like a great mum. But as you are looking for areas of improvement I think you need to deal with I feel less of a person and not good enough

The most important thing we can give our children is the strength to get through the problems life presents us with. You do not need to have a paid job or money to be a valuable person in this world and by loving and respecting yourself as you are now, you will give your dd a wonderful example.