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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How much time do you make for yourself

6 replies

Sunflower1985 · 09/12/2015 20:20

DH and I have a 2yo ds. I do a hobby for 3-4 hours most weekends. Other than that I work full time but then evenings and the rest of the weekend we spend together. He's upset about this and keeps saying arguing that it's too much and most people with young dcs don't do things like this.
Is that true?

OP posts:
RedMapleLeaf · 09/12/2015 20:30

Do you both get equal time?

Sunflower1985 · 09/12/2015 20:33

From my point of view I'm more than happy for him to have hobbies. He doesn't want to, apart from computer games, which he argues doesn't count as it's flexible. And he sometimes goes out after work, but not regularly.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 09/12/2015 20:34

I drive to work and back. So i get 4 hours a week alone time.

Cabrinha · 09/12/2015 20:36

Doesn't sound excessive to me.

I'd be annoyed if that was 2x 2 hours, and at a time such as first thing so I never got a lie in, or lunch time so no full days together were possible, or evening so I felt we never had a weekend evening together - maybe.
If it's a Sunday morning off somewhere, meh.

As long as he has the same opportunity for time out, it's not much.

What happened before the baby? Or is this a new hobby?

Is it the time away he doesn't like, or your friendships with others?

Sunflower1985 · 09/12/2015 20:40

It's usually late afternoon, but there's some flexibility. I did it pre ds but stopped for 9 months when he was born. It makes me feel like a full person, mostly psychological benefits.
I think it's the time away, as he's more social than me, anyway. He wants all non work time to be family or me and him time.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 09/12/2015 20:44

Plenty of people don't have time alone away from family. Because they don't want to, have no hobbies, can't afford to, whatever.
That's normal.

What is NOT normal is saying all non work time should be with family / partner. Worrying possessive / controlling. That's not an argument I would be prepared to lose.

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