Has anyone else lost....?

[noogles]

Alot of friends since having dc. I have. I find it hard that none of my childless friends want to knoe me anymore.

My dp and I were bf with his mate from school and his girlfriend. We uesd to see each other all the time. When we had our ds (3.8 yrs ago) and moved out they were still living at home so would forever be at our place. Since moving out themselves they didnt see us as much and then it turnt into nothing at all.

Anyway in the summer we were going to a mutual friends wedding and they got in contact to see if we could all go together which we did. She was pregnant at the time and when I asked why they had decided not to talk to us anymore, she told me that it was because she was jealous that we had everything she wanted (baby,flat etc). (previous to having my ds she told me that she didnt like going out in a group with me as she is v.insecure and got fed up that i got lots of male attention)

That is just one example, I do have friends but they are new ones and not on the same level as old ones. Is this a common thing for people.

I do still have 2 close friends btw I am not a sad loner yet

I expected (or was told) I'd lose lots of friends once I had kids! Some of my friendships have changed but might have done anyway due to people moving away,etc. I've got new friends as a result. So have more friends since having kids in actual fact.

I was the first in group to have child (3.5 yrs ago)and was in my late 20s.I have noticed that some people don't know how to react/interact with me when I'm pregnant. One female hardly speaks to me when we're in a group and makes really paatronising remarks(eg asks everyone else how their jobs are going and then asks me "what do i DO on the two days I'm at home with DS) Then when I go out with them between pregnancies(eg Hen weekend) she tells me HOW cool I am. (Having a kid and still having a life.) I get pg again and the circle begins again!! She dosn't want kids for about four more years BTW.

I just think some people have a set idea of what becoming a parent is about and can't identifiy with it.
Another friends is positively GROSSED out by the fact I have kids.Keeps thinking she is so COOL commenting on how she just can't see herself with kids for ages(A twisted compliment?)

The one major thing I've noticed is that DH and I who used to share friends. Now have a very differant set of new friends. His are a group of hard drinking,fun loving slightly younger ones. Mine are slightly older,other mums.

BTW now quite a few of my(our) original friends are having kids,the friendships are becoming stronger again.

my kids are now in their teens, and friends I lost contact with when I was up to my neck in nappies and they were up to their necks in vodka and office politics are drifting back into my life, and it's lovely.

I think it's natural to drift when your lives are so different, but it's worth keeping up the Xmas cards for when you all catch up again later on. When your babies don't need you any more (sob) it's lovely to go out with people who know you DO know all about sex 'n' drugs 'n' rock'n'roll, and who knew you when your boobs were pert and your shoes were the envy of the office.

...AHH pert boobs and shoes to kill for!! Sweet memories!!

Spinasnowflakw, I can totlly relate to what you were saying about people not knowing how to interact with you when you are preggers or have had the baby. I just feel very used by them, they were extremely close to us (we thought) and they just ended it as soon as we had ds and made us feel like we had done something wrong by making the decision to have him. Now they have their dc they want to know us again but we have moved on and have. Our other set of friends (three couples,two of which have no children) have remained friends with no probs.)

Sorry to rant its just that it irritated me yesterday when I was writing their xmas card!!!

And smartiepartie (i love that name ) I want my pert boobs again!!!! Not sure if I ever had the shoes in the first place