Can't talk about my pregnancy with my best friends..... Am I being selfish?

[Toothache]

Didn't know whether to put this in relationships or pregnancy... but here goes.

My best friends in the whole world are all childless. There are 3 girls I've been friends with since I was 15 (now 26).
One is a school teacher, let's call her Anne.
One is a lecturer, lets call her Kath
One is a Zoo keeper, lets call her Evie

All are in relationships longterm, but none of them are married or have children. I'm also the youngest out of them all (feel the oldest).

Anyway.... my problem is this:

I tried to book a table for us all to have lunch, but it fell through. I was upset coz we don't get together much anymore as I don't go on their big nights out drinking coz I'm pregnant.

Anne said she would come as long as I didn't talk about babies the whole time.

Kath cancelled as she had an abortion a couple of years ago that she isn't dealing with and doesn't know I know about, so can't handle seeing me pregnant or even talking about the baby.

Evie is totally freaked out by the whole pregnancy/childbirth thing and thinks it's too disgusting and messy to talk about.

So that leaves me with general acquaintances to talk to about the most important thing in my life!!

Am I being selfish expecting them to listen to me talk about my pregnancy? I don't talk about it all the time, but now I feel totally isolated by them to the point where I have to ignore the fact I'm pregnant unless they bring up the subject.

They talk about their work all the time and I don't say to them "I'll only come to lunch if you promise not to talk about your work".
They do ask how I'm doing and how the bump is doing, but if I say anymore than "we're both fine" I can almost feel them rolling their eyes with boredom.

What do I do? Do I say something to them and risk falling out with them.... or do I just carry on the friendships as if I'm not pregnant?

It's is SOOOOOO important to me, why can't they see that? Help, it's very lonely not having the girls to talk to about my baby-to-be.

Jimjams - They'll have to come to me though as I'll be grounded!

Well my friend Anne phoned me last night. She had read my email and wanted to know if I was okay. I thought that was a really nice gesture until she fired straight into "I feel like that too sometimes.. I live out here in Edinburgh and NOBODY comes to see me"!!!! I couldn't believe it. She complained the entire time that hardly anyone goes for nights out with her. She is always out with her work colleagues and new boyfriend.

She was totally missing the point. I told her I was that I was worried it was because I was pregnant again and already had a child.... I felt like a social burden.... She replied "Don't be silly it's nothing to do with that, like I said I get paranoid when noone phones me too".

I sighed in despair and resorted to talking about her work for the duration of the 20 minute phone call.

Frustrating ain't it! I was very conscious of not boring people with baby talk so spoke about all the 'normal' stuff I usually spoke about. I get a bit stuck in the middle with it all. A friend of mine has a DS1 but can speak of nothing else and assumes that because I have DH1 I'm happy to chat about teething and baby stuff all day. The thing I found most frustrating was my DH's best pal. At 7 months pregnant and having bored not a soul about baby stuff - I hadn't even bought a single thing yet - I finally took possession of a stack of all the necessary. We'd just arrived back from my SIL after driving for 2.5 hours up the M6 with all the clobber and the 'pal' calls to ask if he can come round coz he's been let down by his arrangements. As we unloaded the car and dumped everything in the hall I looked at it and uttered the first sentence of "my what a load of stuff" and he snapped back, "well I hope you're not going to show it all to me". Meantime he goes on and on about his work which is so technical that no-one understands any of it. I could have shot him. Then I get the patronising, go to your bed if you're tired comments coz I was yawning (through boredom, not tiredness).

People seem to become insecure around mums to be. After the baby arrives they also forget that you are capable of having opinions on anything other than nappy brands. I also still seem to be the one doing all the organising and making all the effort at keeping the relationships going in some cases, but then again I always did. I have become more philisophical about it all and if they get the hump that I've not been in touch for a while I remind them that a phone works both ways. I have other priorities now rather than chasing round after them all the time. Before you were pregnant did you do all the organising anyway?

My very best friend lives far away and I miss her dearly but she always seemed to busy at work to have proper natters like we used to however, to end on a high note and after knowing her for 24 years we had a 5 hour conversation last weekend and put all our troubles to bed.

Hint at what you are upset about and if they are good friends, they will hear the message.

Meant to say I have a DD1. I get a bit confused with the language (are there any definitions of what all the abbreviations mean?)

Oh and while I'm on the rant. Another friend did visit me in hospital after the birth. Me, DD and the friend were photographed together and later her only comment was "what a nice photo of me" (meaning herself). Like to see what she would look like after a 24 hour labour and emergency section.

Just read this toothache, my friends really good but they are all so far away I only get to meet up with them twice a year. I would love to go round to one of theirs now and again with a bottle of wine for a good old natter. I think they just find it so hard to relate to you being a mum now but you are still the same person inside.

Talk away all you want about the baby to be on here we all love hearing about it.