I have a ridiculous problem that I doubt many would understand and am expecting a bit of backlash from this, but here you are!
I'm the youngest sibling of six children and let's just say my family is a bit dysfunctional. I love my family - all of them but we are far from close. I lost one of my brothers 13 years ago and it was very difficult. My other siblings rarely see each other and haven't for a long time, even before that happened.
Anyway, my other brother has suddenly decided he wants to come and stay with me for the weekend. He says he misses me, his daughter (my niece) wants to see my DCs and says 'luv u sis' in his messages all the time. I haven't actually spoken to him since the last time I saw him 7 years ago - and the last time before that, was a good few more. He's in and out of prison and brags to me about beating people up. He's a bouncer in nightclubs and that is just his way of life.
I have moved on and become my own person since we all lived as a family. I'm not looking down on him at all, and I want to keep good relations, and this is how I am thinking.... Be prepared because Im going to be brutally honest.
I work my arse off during the week. Have two DCs that keep me busy and a new relationship with a fantastic guy I only see at weekends because of distance, work and kids. The thought of having to entertain them for a whole weekend, introduce my man to him, make conversation with my brother who I love dearly but have nothing in common with is stressing me out big style! I treasure my weekends! He's already bought a train ticket to come but can still put him off.
I'm so stressed about it! I am so tired from work and kids that I really really really just want to chill and have my weekend to myself. I wouldn't mind a day visit, or one overnight stay, and should have said something before but the closer it has got the more stressed I am. I feel like I just can't cope even with the idea of it now.
Would I be terrible if I did put him off? I really do want to see him but the whole weekend? I feel so shallow - but to hear nothing for years and years and now this, just before Christmas when I'm up to my eyes in it and selfishly really need a weekend chilling with my man and my own kids (one of which is going to have to stay at her boyfriend's in order to free up a bed for them) is making me tearful! I feel so bad feeling and thinking like this. I just hope someone understands and can offer some advice