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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I trapped....feeling so lonely and sad.

5 replies

Nochoc · 02/12/2015 22:56

That's it, DH has gone too far tonight, telling me I was a waste of space because I did not check the job done by repairman - to me looked like job done but DH not happy. To give background I had a good well paid job 3 years ago which I had to give up to home educate my son with Autism as the authorities options did not satisfy us. Now my son back at school but can't look at taking job again as school really far and let's be honest childcare for child with special needs not easily found. My DH can be great and helpful, but is controlling. Things must be done his way, or it's the wrong way, and at the moment keeps on saying things like he shouldn't have chosen this life, anything I do is irrelevant because he doesn't want this life,.....for the first time tonight, I wanted to take my wonderful son and leave.....but feel trapped with situation, no money, no help, no friends or family either. Thanks for any advice or kind words, really needs them......

OP posts:
AtSea1979 · 02/12/2015 23:00

What an awful situation.
Time to get your affairs in order and start planning a different life with DS.
No money, that can be helped with tax credits etc. Use online calculators to work out your options.
No help, it DH any help anyway?
No friends, look for local ASD groups, meetup.com etc

Nochoc · 02/12/2015 23:07

Thank you for your response. You are right. I am quite shy so hard to make friends. DH is helpful, when he is not angry. And he always is these days.

OP posts:
AtSea1979 · 03/12/2015 19:13

Where abouts are you? I'm up north and lots of ASD groups etc going on. Plus I use Meetup as that's often people who struggle with shyness etc.

RatherBeRiding · 03/12/2015 20:45

Would he leave, if he's the one who doesn't want this life? Why should you be the one to leave? Tell him calmly that you hear what he's saying and you see no point in carrying on both being so unhappy.

There's no need to be trapped. There are tax credits, benefits, DH will still have to support his child.

Volunteering is a great way to get out there again and make some social contacts - a few hours while DS is at school a couple of times a week?

Nochoc · 04/12/2015 15:24

Thanks.

Atsea, don't know Meetup, will look into it. There are groups, which I attended but the quiet mouse I am did not say anything. I think I have big confidence issue as well since leaving work.

Ratherbe, he wouldn't leave, I think he'd rather wait as it would be another way to prove it is all my fault. I actually asked him to apologise, that I was his wife and deserve respect, gave all up to ensure our son would progress. He did but didn't mean it......you are right, if happens again, I will ask him what he wants. I do want to volunteer, preferably to do with autism, so will think of something along those lines.

Many thanks!

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