Please help....DD, aged 10 and in year 5, has "lost" her best friend, they have been friends through thick and thin since nursery. She is devestated, I am heartbroken for her and feel powerless to help...
I so desperatly need some cool calm advice to help her. She has other friends, but as she explains it they are all in friendship groups and dont need/want anyone else to join.
How can I help her?
As background, DD was always a popular girl, her and BF were always together but within a larger circle of friends and another girl was particularly friendly with DD.(I'll call her E.) DD did have problems with E in Yr1 as E only wanted DD to play with her but with the teachers involvement and support DD managed to handle this. Last year ( year 4) E palled up with another girl and subjected DD to some emotional and verbal bullying. DD found this very hard particularly as she wasn;t in the same class as BF. Anyway the bullying eventually stopped but DD lost E as a freind and 2 other girls who now have a trendy "in group". This trendy "in-group" is a bitchfest - I observed some incredibly sophiticated bitchy behavior from them last week, so all in all both DD, DH & I are glad she is out of "That".All through this DD had the friendship and support of BF ( who also suffered at the hads of E and friends). Towards the end of last school year another girl joined the school ( I'll call her J) and DD and BF be-friended her and became quite close.At the beginning of last week J & BF started running off together at lunchtime, hiding from DD etc, not waiting for her or including her. DD asked what was wrong and received no response. DD and I had a heart to heart on Friday night and I ended up posting a thread called "untrendy Mum needs help with DD" (sorry cannot do links)where I received some Fantastic advice. But of couse I told only part of the story....
On Monday they were not waiting for her at the usual meeting spot and she didn't talk to them all day despite being in the same class. DD feels that BF dosn't really want to treat her like this because a couple of times BF stopped to talk to DD and J pulled her away, J whispers away to BF loking at DD and BF looks at the ground in an embarressed way. BF phoned DD on Sunday over homework and they chatted and laughed for ages although didn't mention the previous week. While I do not want DD to clutch at straws I do feel that there is something in what she says as BF is such an easy going little thing and just goes along with the flow. She has always been like that and I have known her for 7 years!
DH and I have advised DD to back off, if BF wants to come back she will.
BUT, the dilema, how do I help DD make new friends when they are all in friendship groups - she had loads of friends at one point, but what with E and 2 others going off in their own group and now BF, she is suddenly all alone.
I so need some words of wisdom, she is being so so brave.....Please help!!