I've been with DP for a long time. 21 now. We have a home together (in his name so no ties to that), and I'm really in love with him. He is the same with me. Everything about the relationship is great, apart from our different life goals.
I've just got through my second miscarriage both parties weren't planning a baby so both pregnancies weren't planned. Of course, irresponsible for both parties, but I wanted those babies 100% and I mourn them. DP admits he was slightly emotional about the second and doesn't really see the pregnancies as babies.
I've known for a long time that he wanted different things from me. He's adamant he wants to travel, for a good year or 2 but not for another few years yet because he wants to save. I'll admit that I never really adored the idea, but supported it somewhat because although I wanted to settle down and have a family relatively young, I was prepared to put these feelings on the back burner until he was ready, I love him.
I think things have changed for both of us now, though. I really want to try again, I'm happy in my job and would be really gutted to leave it in time to do what he wants, although I support his decision. He doesn't want children now and it's out of the question until very late 20's/30's.
What do I do, Mumsnet? I love him heart and sole but I'm thinking I should leave and set myself free from disappointed at my expense, all in the name of seeing him happy. Of course, I respect his wishes to see the world, there's no resentment there at all on my part.
I know if I spoke to him about this openly and worded it as if he didn't go, I'd stay, that he'd stay because he loves me and wants to see me happy. But, I can't do this to him. I want him to be happy and live his life like he planned to, and should do. Even if it means living it without me.
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How can I leave respectfully?
14 replies
Ohokay · 02/12/2015 17:30
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