Constantly Thinking & Worrying!?!

[SameOld27]

Does anyone else think & worry constantly worry about their relationship rather than being "in the now"?

I've very definitely been in relationships where I've spent a lot of time worrying because they didn't treat me very well.

Why are you worrying? Why do you feel so insecure?

Its my own doing. I cheated on my partner a few years ago with a work collegue, a 2 year fling (no sex involved) I eventually told my partner the truth as I couldnt live with the guilt any longer. That was 2 years ago & im not better off, he completely forgave me, I never forgave myself & doubt I ever will to be honest. I strive so much for thr relationship to be perfect thag it affects "the now". We are currently living seperate & having the odd date etc & talk everyday as we have a 5 year old son together but I worry sooo much that I should be in love with him rather than loving him like I do? I even get suicidal thoughts cause I cannot bare continuing to worry & think everyday. Im 27 now & have been like this since I was 23. I cannot remember the last xmas I enjoyed! What a sad life I will look back on x

Could you see a counsellor? It sounds like you might benefit from talking things through with someone.

I was actually seeing one but stopped cause everyone was telling me whag was the point & I suppose some things she said were hard/upsetting to hear. Thinking of trying again & maybe asking my ex to come with me one day to hear his honest thoughts. Sometimes its better to have a third person in the room if that makes sense?

lt can definitely help to have a third person there, especially if you are trying to figure out if you really want to be in the relationship.

Sometimes if counselling means facing something you don't want to it's extremely painful. Given your thoughts about whether you love him and your fling is it that you don't want to be in the relationship (although you may want to want to?)