Has anyone done this successfully, or had a partner complete this successfully? I really need to hear views, as I think that if it doesn't work, I am going to be posting for divorce advice instead.
I am really at the end of my tether with dh of 17 years who is ordinarily lovely, but every few years has a full on red mist rage fuelled episode which usually ends in a door getting punched or me getting shoved.
I can't get through to him that it is not normal behaviour, and that although I do love him very much, I cannot live like this anymore. It tears me apart to tread on eggshells and encourage the dcs to do the same. We shouldn't have to. Everything is always MY fault, and today I finally grew a backbone and said that actually, normal people don't lose it like that and push their wives against the wall. I did nothing to deserve it, I simply said "stop" because he was shouting at teenage ds in an overly agressive way. Because he was pushing, not punching, he seems to think that I am overreacting.
Strangely, he has apologised to ds and said that he is not a good example of how a man should behave, but he hasn't apologised to me. He says that if I wasn't so soft on the dcs then he wouldn't lose his temper. We have had this conversation so many times, that we have to both parent together and make considered decisions. Teenage ds is a handful (I think that's quite common), but has some additional needs which are waiting diagnosis. We agreed some weeks ago that if he is getting annoyed with ds then he has to walk away and calm down before tackling the situation. Not unreasonable imo.
I have spent the day either in tears, or trying to keep it together choking back tears. I can't see a future anymore with this man unless I can stop being terrified of him and what he might do next. I know that when I broach the subject he will suggest that I am being over dramatic, and that there is no need for any kind of external intervention.
Help please, how do I move on from this without falling back into the cycle again?