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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What next for guys who will do anything for sex

32 replies

Reese123 · 28/11/2015 21:53

I was just wondering what happens to those guys who do anything for the next shag, including shamelessly lying to their partners in order for the thrill of more sex???

Anyone know anyone like this and what happened to them - did they eventually settle down?

OP posts:
TokenGinger · 29/11/2015 18:16

I'm sorry, I didn't realise I'd said anywhere that he'd cheated previously. He actually hasn't been in a "proper" relationship so I might have worded a previous post incorrectly, my apologise.

AF, you make complete sense. I don't believe that fulfilling sex alone is enough. And I appreciate my post may have come across that way. The difference, I believe, is that I have traits which he is attracted to. He appreciates my mind, my work ethics, my love and affection for those with whom I am close, my maternal instinct, etc. I never quite understood when people have said "besotted" before, but this is the feeling I get with the way he feels for me. I think previously, he's been a young boy just playing the field and therefore, he's just chased physical attraction. He told me a few months ago that I am all he's ever wished for in a life partner and would feel blessed if I am the mother of his children. So in terms of wondering what is different about me to the others, I believe it's due to him reaching a point in his life whereby he wants to settle down and he's taken the time to get to know me, the real me, and not just my exterior. He tells me that he loves and adores me often and I believe him.

I'm sorry if my previous posts came across as me providing what he needs to not cheat. That was not my intention. Although he loves sex, if ever it is turned down between us, it's by him because he wants to "hold" me. He tells me that intimacy is not just about sex between us, it's holding me, stroking my hair etc. and sometimes, that's all the pleasure he needs.

TokenGinger · 29/11/2015 18:18

Gosh, I feel terrible that it came across as me saying about providing what thy need to not cheat. OP, I am very sorry it came across that way. I would never, ever condone feeling duty bound to provide something so that somebody does something that they should not do anyway.

AnyFucker · 29/11/2015 18:18

I wish you well, Ginger. I really hope it works for you. Please don't think I am trying to make you doubt yourself. I do believe in holding back that little bit of yourself though...the bit that preserves your ability to not blindly believe everything you are told. X

lunar1 · 29/11/2015 18:24

My friend is like this, he cheats on everyone. For him it's not about finding someone better, it's about the thrill of the chase and someone different. He's had 3 serious girlfriends (I warned them all but I think they thought I was jealous!) and cheated on them all. He now wants a family and is with serious girlfriend no 4, I hope he makes it work but really don't think he will change in the long term. I desperately hope I'm proved wrong.

TokenGinger · 29/11/2015 18:24

AF, I follow your posts a lot and I truly believe any advice you give is in the best interest of the poster, and so I do not believe yours posts are intended to make me doubt myself, I believe they are said with care. Thank you for your advice xx

AnyFucker · 29/11/2015 18:37

I think there were slightly crossed wires as you explained further what you meant, Ginger. X

iwashappy · 29/11/2015 18:42

timelytess sounds like my ex only I did find out.

OP as I've just mentioned my ex husband was like this although I didn't know it for most of our marriage. I didn't think he would change but he seems happily settled with OW at the moment. Been with her two years (but only one year properly together) so hopefully it's still early days and he'll revert to type. please

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