Is it possible to still have a bit of a broken heart many years later.

[lolaflores]

I don't know if broken heart is even an appropriate word for IT. not a first love. but a really horrible, damaged load of carry on that I could not or would not wise up to in time to keep myself from the cliffs edge. Then a long bout of drinking, losing a job, a rebound pile of bollox. to still not be able to sort out the mess. low self esteem aside, victim complex and all the ingredients. to simply not understand. I know the mantra, stop; you never will. was it me? are people so so, basically hurtful and consciese (sic)?
this comes up from time to time. any thoughts appreciated.

It is very hard, it took me a very long time to get over my ex esp when he went off with someone else and got engaged to her 6 weeks later.

Having been in that situation thinking is it me, was I not good enough, etc, etc. Time does you forget but it helps with the grieving process, what really helps is when you start dating someone and someone you actually have feelings for.

Good luck - it will better in time, you sound like me always self doubting myself - try and keep your mind occupied find a new hobby that will help.

For me on perspective - these guys were jackasses and I had a lucky escape, and I'm sure you did too

What amazes me is that it isn't always the ones you were with for the longest, the ones who cheated on you, it's sometimes a completely different reason why someone gets under your skin and the relationship is hard to get over.

I am 50 OP and I still am not over a relationship I had when I was 19. I have been married twice since, but this man still haunts my dreams. All part of life's rich pattern eh?

It took me 10 years to get over my first love properly!

Not that I was in pain that whole time, but when I thought of him the pain would still be just like yesterday. It took him having a baby and getting married for it to go away/

I was very attached to him and loved him very deeply indeed. He never did anything bad to me, so I missed him for a very long time

mintoil that's it. I am 48. this all happened over the course of a year when I was 22. Some things we learn from, but this episode simply refuses to bring me anything but a sort of shame and despair. Perhaps it has more to do with the age one was at the time. That those things that happen in your early twenties or so hurt harder for longer...

Oh yes, I think it's perfectly possible. Although I think it's also the future with them ( that may have been crap!) that causes pain too. It's very hard to pick up and move on.

And social media has made it so much easier to keep in contact or get back in contact. It's much more difficult to go no contact or ensure they can't contact or keep tabs on you.