We have had issues about our social life ever since we made a big geographical move back to near DH's home area shortly before our first DC was born 14 years ago. DH's childhood friends had all moved away and we have never seemed to manage to be part of the crowd at any child related group from NCT, through to primary school (although we have made a few "family" friends along the way). Over the years it did get better in that I acquired a good group of friends though the DC and I also do an activity and work with some people I get on with (although I don't particularly socialise with these latter groups, they are still good company). DH got increasingly involved with various outdoorsy sports/activities and got a social life for himself also.
So we both had friends, DH would still complain a bit about how few friends we could meet up with as a couple/family (it bothers me less) but it was ok.
Since roughly the beginning of the year, DH has started to say he is feeling isolated again. His job has become quite solitary for various reasons and he would like to move on but has not had any luck in finding another one. He also continually complains that his "activity" friends (who are quite a broad bunch of people who do various sports so not one group of people) never invite him anywhere, he always has to do the running and often finds that he has been left out of events. I know this makes him sound like a schoolgirl! He isn't paranoid enough to think everyone dislikes him, just that he is always on the edge of groups and seemingly forgotten about. I dread him coming back from an activity as he will always have a comment to make about how he was barely noticed, etc.
I should add there is nothing odd about my DH, he is perfectly normal looking and acting and has social skills and is perfectly capable of being good company.
He has always been a bad sleeper but his sleep is getting worse. He will have a night where he wakes at 2 or 3 am and can't get back to sleep at all at least once a week and other nights where he is awake for hours in the middle of the night.
He is not miserable all the time but it isn't a tenable situation for him to go on like this. I am starting to dial down my friendships also slightly because I feel bad about the imbalance in our social lives. And then I feel resentful because I was hoping at this stage in my life (DC both at high school) to be able to be more independent and be going out and about on my own more, not less.
Any advice/insights welcome