I'm currently on Mat leave and feeling very low.
I'm an expat in a European country, not only that but we just moved to a new suburb of the city which is effectively being built from scratch - right now we have no pavements, no shops etc. And no reliable transport. There's one bus an hour and only one in four buses roughly is buggy friendly. There's no way of knowing which bus is going to arrive when. It's very cold here and so I can't just wait for the next one.
Consequently I'm stuck. Ds hates using a sling and I don't like it either -,I worry about falling on the ice.
I really miss being able to get out and about. I'm confined to our few streets for walks. I can't get into the city.
I also don't really know anyone. I worked long hours before having the baby and I find meeting people difficult. my grip on the language still isn't great and my efforts to strike up conversations with local mums have come to nothing - as an example I took some post round to the neighbours that had come to us by mistake - she pretty much slammed the door on me :(
I'm worried that my degree of withdrawal will affect bonding with the baby. I find I don't speak to anyone for days on end if dh is away with work. I'm finding feeding really tough and painful, and no one can tell me why, despite a visit to the specialist clinic.
I honestly feel I don't have much to live for right now.