Hi,
I've got some fabulous friends and I'm not really after advice, just a bit of handholding. I'm trying to extricate myself from the most excruciatingly unhappy "friendship". I would have walked away from it far sooner, but because of my kind heart and lack of boundaries and the cash that he required to rescue him which wasn't secured properly (it was supposed to be, but then it transpired that the security he'd agreed to didn't belong to him at all), I was stuck in a horrid purgatory. I was apparently asking too much, misremembering things, just a bit more needed to pay for school lunches/buses until xyz.
It now IS properly secured, with lawyer signatures and my name will be on land registry documents until the property is sold and I can be repaid. However, because I'm now secure enough to actually exhibit my opinion on things and talk about MY feelings, I'm "manipulative", "aggressive", "controlling" and "scary". Mainly because the bank that I've been is now closed for business, I think.
For someone who couldn't hurt a fly it's horrible to hear. I am so thankful that MumsNet talkers put me on to the phrase "gaslighting" as I'd never heard of it before and it is illuminating (pun intended). I'm finding it quite hard not to respond to the unfounded accusations and insults.
I don't really know what I hope to achieve from posting, as I know what my past mistakes have been. I hope that with continued therapy I'll be able to include "no" in my vocabulary.
Thanks for reading :-)