DP's working away from home - how do you make it work? Advice needed desperately

[tinytotmummy]

I don't post on here a lot but would really appreciate some much needed advice, esp from those of you that have dp's that work away and make the situation work for you.
My DH works shifts in a 7 days on, 7 days off pattern and has done so for the last 2 1/2 years. Sounds great but the problem is he works 240m away from our home. He hates the job and isn't doing what he is trained for. He finds it completely boring esp when evry other week he has to work nights and he usually sits and watches dvds or plays computer games all night. He lives at his work place while he's there and very rarely goes out. Basically he arrives there tues night and doesn't leave the building til the following tues.
he's stuck the job for so long as it gives him a whole week at home with the kids (ds - 3, dd - 2), and saves on childcare(I work F/T) but over the past year he has become unbearable to live with. Because he does nothing at work all day he has become v lazy at home and consequently is always tired and miserable. He shouts at the kids for the smallest misbehaviour and only bothers to dress them on the one day of the week they go to nursery.
I feel completely on my own and feel that the only thing that he contributes to the family is purely financial.
I have thought about moving so that he can geta job he likes, but I can't garantee that he will be happy and I'd be giving up my new job and all my family who are a huge support to me at the moment. I'm worried I'll resent him for making me move and that will make things worse.
I really want to be a happy family more than anything, but don't know what to do for the best.

Oh dear.
My dh works away (6 weeks on 1 week off) and has been doing so for 6 years.
It is working so far and he loves his job.

Your dh sounds very unhappy.
Being in a job you hate crushes your spirit.

It sounds so trite but can you not discuss it honestly over a nice meal out without the children?

Poor you. I think you and he need to explore other options:

his getting another job
you getting another job nearer his
his being a sahd (is this an option?)

It sounds horrible. I worked away for six months and it was hell.

Point out kindly that there is no point him having a job which gives him a lot of time with his children if he doesn't enjoy their company.

I have tried talking to him and telling how the situation is making everyone really unhappy, but he either puts the phone down, or ignores me and goes outside. Has come to a head this week as I've threatened to leave but he is still ignoring the situation.
He's RN with 20m(and counting) left to serve until he can come out with full pension/gratuity, etc. He can get another job, but prob not til March when his draft finishes, although his boss has said something about keeping him on. The only drafts available to him readily are Porstmouth based and they are normal working hours. We live in Cornwall, nearest job he might get is still an hour and a half daily commute. He hates driving, too. Its all crap really.
We can't afford for me to give up my job ad we have too much debt. More crap

Ok, well, services, that's tricky. As is Cornwall from a finding decently paid work pov. Portsmouth is still better in terms of pay/quality of life/other opportunities I'd say. Can the 2 of you sit down and talk about what your long term plan is? And could you get some counselling? Is there anything available with his job? (btw, my father was Cornish, many of my family lived/live there and I lived in Devon for 3 years so I understand the economic realities of the South West - we now live in the SE)

In some ways I'd like to move back to Portsmouth for all the reasons you've stated www, and I suppose deep down I think its the right solution. However, the last time I was there I was desperately unhappy but I think that was prob combination of not working, 6mth baby with another one on the way and being so far from "home". Also have a lovely house here and close to both sets of gps and a stones throw from the beach....
Could poss get a transfer with my work, but I know there are plenty of oppurtunities up there for me if I can't.
Long term he would be more at an advantage to be in Portsmouth for jobs after he leaves, but I'm just really scared I'll hate it. I'm a country wuss!