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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So fucking angry

8 replies

slightlyinsane · 22/11/2015 19:54

H and I have had a crap week after I pulled him up on his foul moods, his lack of communication and 101 other things. He said he was stressed at work and didn't want to re live it all with me when he got home blah blah blah, ended up with him basically saying I was talking crap and he told me what I needed to know.
Tonight he's told me he got the job he applied for. What fucking job???? He's made a decision that will have an impact on the family that I've known nothing about. I'm so fucking angry with him for doing the thing he claimed he doesn't do and that's not talk to me about things.

OP posts:
IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy · 22/11/2015 20:37

I don't blame you for being angry! Does he usually make family decisions without you? Is he normally so horrible and selfish?

ImperialBlether · 22/11/2015 20:38

He's a gem, isn't he?

What impact will his new job have on the family?

Gladysandtheflathamsandwich · 22/11/2015 20:54

Will it mean more pay? Good for you if he needs to pay maintenance....just saying.

slightlyinsane · 22/11/2015 21:19

First time he's ever made a big decision like this without telling me. In the past we've discussed it to make sure it would work for all of us, including the relocation that has done his career the world of good.
The biggest impact I can forsee (haven't discussed the nitty gritty yet) is longer hrs possible more nights away and yes a good pay rise and increased bonus, struggling to see any bad points but that's not the point.
Gladys the maintenance increase did cross my mind

OP posts:
hesterton · 22/11/2015 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theoldtrout01876 · 23/11/2015 01:38

my EX h did this. Applied,was offered and accepted a job I knew nothing about. It had a HUGE impact on the family and on our life style and on my job. I couldnt get over it,hence the EX h

forumdonkey · 23/11/2015 06:58

I'd be angry too that my H/P had applied and been interviewed for something as significant in his life as a job but failed to mention it. As his partner and DW that would hurt a lot.

He's not included you in something really big in his life and I would feel really shitty and insignificant.

I'd put the actual job and logistics of it to one side and tell him how his lack of care and communication of something so big has made you feel and how you feel positively excluded from his life you feel. Depending on his reply and reaction would decide what you do next and where you go from there.

slightlyinsane · 24/11/2015 11:14

Due to the kids I haven't had the opportunity to talk to him properly about this yet. Well we could of done last night but he decided to fall asleep instead. He's driving me nuts behaving as though there's nothing wrong with what he's done, dick face!!

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