Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

The kind words of strangers.

18 replies

Elendon · 22/11/2015 11:10

To give you background, I'm happy to be single and would never live with anyone ever again (I'm happy to live with my children). I don't rule out relationships, but they would never end with us living together.

Yesterday, I went into town, for the first time in ages, to do some shopping. I ended up at the market and the stall that has flowers and plants. I wanted some plants to go with my planters in front of my house. I knew what I wanted. Despite that, I was a little bit hesitant about my choice.

The man who served me said, "It's what you want that matters, that is all that matters."

It struck a cord with me. I was so happy he said that. I agreed with him. Such a lovely moment for me. Just thought I'd share.

OP posts:

Rhubarbarian · 22/11/2015 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

howtorebuild · 22/11/2015 11:17

I don't blame you wanting to live alone either.

regretsihaveafew · 22/11/2015 11:21

Someone with no agenda with you other than being kind and helpful to another human being is what gives us faith in human nature.....whereby those who profess to 'love' us deeply seem hell bent on grinding us down and breaking our spirit so they can get the status quo they want.

It's a crazy world, often cruel. I agree with the market vendor that we are the only ones who truly know ourselves and know what we need to make us happy and so we owe it to ourselves to give ourselves anything which lifts our spirits.

My day is often made better by someone smiling and saying a few kind words, not judging me or criticising...just seeing someone who is doing their best. I think it's great you notice and hear things like this in your day...so many people see nor hear anything which could uplift them, they notice nothing.

Also single and no intention of any relationship again...just enjoying life.

Original poster

Elendon · 22/11/2015 11:28

Thank you all for your kind replies. Yes, it was lovely. And I also like to think that I brighten someone's day by saying kind words too.

Good to know that others feel the same.

OP posts:

VulcanWoman · 22/11/2015 11:29

Yes, words can be so powerful can't they, good and the bad unfortunately.

Original poster

Elendon · 22/11/2015 11:40

Oh Vulcan, I do understand the power of bad words. They can be devastating. It can take years to get over as well, even if they're said as an adult. I've now learn't to accept all kind words too, they do go a long way in negating the bad.

Update, my planters look lovely.

OP posts:

CwtchMeQuick · 22/11/2015 11:41

A few months ago I'd had a really awful day and I was crying at the train station. Everyone walked past me and ignored me. After a few minutes I noticed a woman and a little girl coming back over the bridge to ask me if I was okay. I said I was and off they went. After about 5 minutes I pulled myself together and went across the bridge and they were waiting for me. The lady smiled at me and said she couldn't leave knowing I was crying there all alone. I've never been so touched by anything and her kindness was exactly what got me through that day. The kindness of strangers is an amazing thing

VulcanWoman · 22/11/2015 11:54

Cwtch I'm sure here daughter will remember that too.

CwtchMeQuick · 22/11/2015 17:20

Vulcan I really do hope so. That woman's kindness gave me a tiny bit of hope on the worst day of my life. Thinking about it makes me well up a bit.
I really make an effort to pass it on to others now, and I think I'm teaching DS to as well

Op I'm glad your planters look lovely

derxa · 22/11/2015 17:34

I've posted this before. My dad died this summer and my DS and I have been staying at his place. It has been depressing. To cheer ourselves up we went to a local beauty spot. There was a family there and I got chatting to the children about maps. The dad and I got talking and I told him why we were up here. His face just radiated sympathy. It was like balm to the soul.

VulcanWoman · 22/11/2015 17:43

All these stories are making me well up.

NorksAreMessy · 22/11/2015 19:04

Lovely lovely thread. Thank you.
How powerful is a tiny act of kindness

Shakey15000 · 22/11/2015 19:08

I remember being caught bunking at school and was told to go and see the head after school. I was shitting myself and at lunchtime, bumped into one of my older sisters friends. She said "I promise you this will NOT be the worst thing that happens in your life". Made me feel tons better. And she was right.

meoryou · 22/11/2015 19:10

Lovely sentiments. I am a great believer in kindness. However I'm not kind myself and I have to start.

meoryou · 22/11/2015 19:11

Not kind to myself oops!!

RedMapleLeaf · 22/11/2015 19:41

I went through a tough time this year and learning about the amazing kindness of strangers was one of the big positives.

Cupquake · 22/11/2015 19:53

I have a mantra that I read somewhere that I say to myself every morning; "be kinder than you feel". It's amazing how it changes hoe you feel and your day.

derxa · 22/11/2015 20:26

I try to believe that people are mainly good. I've had a lot of gruff farmers tearing up with me about the news of my father's death. On Wednesday I will go to the funeral of someone who was my brother's best friend. Brother died at 32 and this guy is 55. I have no doubt there will be many hundreds of people there. They won't mourn in a showy way but will be there to support the widow and three children.

Flip