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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Birthday Card dilemma

8 replies

CheeseBagette · 21/11/2015 12:26

Sorry that this might appear quite a trivial matter.

I have had a friend for about ten years, who now lives a distance away.

We meet up every six weeks or so. We have always posted birthday cards to each other and also to each other's husbands/kids. My birthday and my DD's birthday has just gone and she has not sent a card.

Now I am a little paranoid that I have offended her in some way. She did wish me Happy birthday on Facebook however, so that was nice.

I did inadvertently put insufficient postage on the card I sent to her husband on his birthday a few months ago. I offered to reimburse her for the cost this incurred her, but she told me "Not to worry about it". I am worried that she is mad about this and has therefore decided to stop sending cards.

Anyway, aside from my fears I have offended her, I genuinely don't know whether to send a card for her birthday coming up soon. By not sending us cards, is she sending a clear message that she wants us to stop exchanging cards?

WWYD?

OP posts:
longingforfun · 21/11/2015 12:33

I would send it. She may have forgotten, be hard up or wants to stop. The time to stop is next year if you don't get a card.

jelliebelly · 21/11/2015 13:02

I'd send one but then I love choosing birthday cards! I know several people who don't send cards if they've posted on Facebook though..

Maybe she just forgot!

Hels20 · 21/11/2015 13:41

I would send one. We never really know what is going on in people's lives and maybe she forgot. If she doesn't send one next time then maybe she is trying to simplify her life - some people put more credence by cards than other people...

spudlike1 · 21/11/2015 15:21

I completely lost the plot on sending cards xmas and some b days kids stressful job blah blah ..I have a dear freind who.always remembers mine ..bit she understands

spudlike1 · 21/11/2015 15:23

But not bit sorry

Drquin · 21/11/2015 15:33

Don't read anything into it.
Don't play top trumps about who has the busier life and more likely to forget.

Buy & send a card if that's what you normally do.

Buy a card she'll appreciate / find funny.

celtictoast · 21/11/2015 18:31

Send one anyway with a note saying hope everything's going well.

CheeseBagette · 21/11/2015 18:33

Thank you for all you kind words of advice. I will definitely take your advice and send a card on her birthday as per usual.

OP posts:
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