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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Really annoyed/ trust issues

4 replies

Royallypissedoff · 19/11/2015 14:43

Name changed, dp and I know mutual couples let's call them couple A and couple B the women all know each other through partners, the dp's have known each other from school so 20+ years. Couple A live abroad, on Tuesday couple A's wife contacted me to ask me a personal question she said she knows it's true as couple's B husband confirmed it. Immediately my eyebrows were raised as it was something personal that dp and I hadn't discussed with anyone. Dp and I's relationship is already very fragile as we haven't been getting on and have some major trust issues. I asked if he told couple B's husband the news he was adamant he hadn't at first I believed him as we had discussed not telling anyone as yet. During the text conversation couple A wife said why would couple B' husband lie about it, i said I don't know my dp said he didn't tell him no such thing. I was already feeling pissed that my private business was being discussed and dp didn't seem bothered that someone was allegedly saying something he said he categorically didn't say. He called couple b husband to ask how that information got misconstrued to couple A (not to clarify if the information wasn't told to him in the first place) anyway due to his past lies and the way he wasn't too concern his name was being dragged through the mud i started to doubt him.
I asked him to leave and locked the door behind him, with the intention of getting the locks changed. Am I over reacting?
I feel fed up of all the lies and really upset that something so personal has been discussed without my permission... Am I being precious? And I don't like hearing my personal business from a 3rd party!

Now he has most of my family demanding I allow him to come in the house ( without even hearing my side of the story).
And couple A are saying they don't want to be involved in our issues!!!!

OP posts:
ILiveAtTheBeach · 19/11/2015 14:58

Well, I think you need to tell us what this information is? Otherwise it's hard to say whether you've over reacted. If the news is that you have contracted an STD, yeh, that's awful that people would know......however, if you've simply got a new hair-do, so what? iyswim

Bailey101 · 19/11/2015 15:01

I agree with Beach - very hard to say without knowing the backstory and what was told to couple B.
Apart from that though, wife a sounds like a shit stirrer and husband b sounds like a gossipy wee teenager.

Royallypissedoff · 19/11/2015 15:16

Not sure if I can without being outed. It in the middle of those no as extreme as std, and not as minor as new hair style, however still something we discussed not to divulge yet.

She is a fucking shit stirrer but doesn't take any responsibility for it!
Not sure why my personal life is so much of an interest to her to be acting like inspector Columbo.
Yes couple B was acting childish if she was told something he should never have passed the information on. ( though he should never have been told)

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 19/11/2015 15:21

I think this is probably the straw that broke the camels back and no doubt just the tip of the iceberg.
Do you want the relationship to end?
If he continually lies then that's probably a deal breaker.

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