Do you text your ex husband/wife

[Crazyex1]

Is it normal to be in contact with your ex almost daily ? My new partner seems to be in contact with his almost daily, they have two small children and it's not just the odd text it'll be full conversations!

I find it odd that they need so much contact, it's normally insisted by her but he will respond - surely he could reply and then ignore the rest?
I don't know if I'm being silly or if it's a gripe for others too!

I was actually reading your messages trying to work out if you are my exs girlfriend (you aren't, dont worry!) as we have been out for lunch, a dinner and a day trip in the last 3 months. The dinner was just us (no Ds) so we could figure out schools, maintenance, behavioural problems without him listening. His mum and my mum babysat while we did it. The lunch was because Ds asked and there was no real reason not to. The day trip was because Ds was unsettled after starting school and being away from me and just needed a bit more tlc than usual.

I know my reasons for my family are different from your dps reasons, but I just wanted to say it may be innocent. There is nothing between me and my ex, but we have both strived to be friendly and have bitten our tongue a lot over the years to achieve this.

I think your Gut instinct is key, and also knowing what you want from your relationship. I am single, but my exs new partner is very secure in their relationship - possibly because everything is so open between us all. There's no secrecy or hidden agendas, where as is it sounds like there are a lot of emotions still running high in your situation.

I don't know if my reply helps, it can't be easy for you and I hope that whatever happens you can find something that works for you all.

I said earlier up the thread that it's normal to text about the kids, however having heard that they have been spending all that time together I'd say that's not so normal, it must also be a bit confusing for the kids, I expect they are always hoping mum and dad will get back together. I think you'd be better cutting your losses now before you get even more involved - it does sound as though you may end up getting hurt here. Seems like ex wife is still quite a priority in his life as well as the kids.

I think she knows but she was like this before, we are co workers and were friends before so it's not like she has stepped up her game. The only thing that has changed is the outings that started a few months ago, although they are only a few he doesn't have a huge amount of time a way from work, between seeing the children etc so it's quite a lot of spare time on the days they have spent all together

Your problem is not that they do text etc it's that they want to. Telling him to stop will not change that.

You need to tell him that you are wary of being dragged into his unresolved relationship issues with his ex and then let him decide how to handle that information.

If he doesn't handle it in a way that you feel comfortable with then break up with him. No sense putting up with a relationship that makes you feel insecure even if nothing bad is even happening.

The texting is probably fine.

The days and dinners out together are not.

Just tell him what you're comfortable with and what you're not and see how he handles it. It's your relationship and you've a right to feel comfortable in it.

My DP's ex used to text ALL the time and gradually got bored but that's cause DP didn't respond except where necessary.

Being with someone with an ex and kids is hard. If i had my time again i wouldn't choose to.

Thanks I don't want to be unreasonable.
I'm pleased they parent well but i just didn't realise that there was need for contact daily unless it's necessary .. What really unsettled me was that she has a new job and they have spent the whole week talking about this - he'll openly say and innocent enough still seems like over involvement.