Help me slooooow down

[kimmynono]

Hi. Five months out of an EA and I'm OLD. On date number three with really nice guy. Couldn't help it, DTD on first date

Everything ok, he said take it one step at a time. He's far more experienced than I am with OLD and I know he's still active on the site.

Realise and do completley understand this, but I can't talk to others, I just want to talk to him.

Could be something there, but I know 100% if I push too hard he'll back off - hey, I'd do the same if roles were reversed.

So just need some words of wisdom to take it easy, not rush things and let it grow naturally, if it does. If it's not to be that would be sad, but if I spoil things because I'm pushing too hard I'd be so annoyed with myself.

How do I take a step back?

x o x

Agree totally with Sonnyson

I exited an emotionally abusive relationship of ten years, 2.5yrs ago. Currently working with a psychotherapist and very happy about that. The process is horrendous, painful and long. At the moment if hurts like hell and is making me depressed!! And the hugeness of it becomes morning more apparent (been going since July after more bog-standard counselling failed) the more I do. There are many layers of twisted thinking that need fixing. Am totally not ready for a relationship. I see that more and more now. I am going through a process that (I am told will stand me in good stead). OP this is what you should be focusing on. A new relationship will not do as a substitute. It's just a context for your hangups to play out anew.

Sorry ILiveAtTheBeach, not really related to the thread but:

"I never texted first (as a test). But I didn't need to anyway, he chased me. After date 2, he told me he'd deleted his profile and asked me if we could be exclusive. He never once left me dangling. No game playing. Ever."

So you're happy to play games, 'testing' him? But wouldn't put up with it yourself?

I only pick up on it because we see so many threads on here about how the guy hasn't texted, and yet they don't want to be the one to text first etc. I don't get it.