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Original poster

Real estate agent getting me in trouble

11 replies

torontonian · 14/11/2015 22:25

I am trying to get an appraisal of my house as I would like to buy out my STBXH.
Appraisers charge around $500, so I thought of asking a few real estate agents first (free of charge) to get an idea of the range and, yes, find one that is favorable for me (lower price). So obviously I am doing this without STBXH knowledge.
One of these agents wanted to meet with both of us and I said that I would talk with STBXH and confirm (thinking of calling later and saying he could not be here and arrange something in the morning when he is working). Now this agent, not only dropped a parcel at my front door with goodies and his business card but also left a post it with my name and a temptative meet date/time.

He screwed up massively. Lucky enough I found the parcel before STBXH got home (still living together). Now I would like to tell the agent to back off, but after this intrusion and telling me that he could "mediate" between us to get a fair price for both (thinking that we are selling) I am now afraid that he won't take no for an answer and he might be coming anyway when husband is here.

What do I do?

OP posts:
Hissy · 14/11/2015 22:30

Trust your instincts love. This guy is a nightmare. You don't need it.

fastdaytears · 14/11/2015 22:31

It sounds like you're not in the UK so this might not be relevant but here I have to get a lot of clients to get valuations and if you go down the free route then you're going to have some marketing stuff. You're using the agent's time for no possible benefit to them.

I'm not sure that this guy has done anything wrong but you're obviously very concerned. Can't you just call him up and say that you're sorry to waste his time but you won't need his help. If you say you're not selling then he's not going to bother you for another second.

Original poster
torontonian · 14/11/2015 22:34

STBXH would be rightly pissed if he discovers I am doing this behind his back. At the same time I am looking out for myself and trying to find a more fair outcome for me. We bought the house less than 3 years ago, with lots of effort. Now I am working with a +$180k appreciation that I could not afford (mother of two, no spousal or child support). I could afford up to $100k appreciation only. The alternative of selling the house makes me cry. Toronto real estate is crazy. Houses are gone in a week. I am not in the position to look for a new place with a tod7dler and a baby in tow (I don't even drive).

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 14/11/2015 22:36

You don't want to move. That's ok! You don't have to explain.

Call the agent and say you're not selling but if you ever change your mind you'll call him. He'll drop you immediately and move on to someone who does want to sell.

Epilepsyhelp · 14/11/2015 22:37

Just call him and say do not contact me I am not interested. You can hardly criticise him when you were just using his knowledge and getting a freebie though.

fastdaytears · 14/11/2015 22:39

I can't see for the life of me what he has done wrong. It is a bit dishonest getting agents to help when no intention of selling, but you're not the first and won't be the last. So just get rid of him and forget about it. No harm done.

Original poster
torontonian · 14/11/2015 22:40

Sorry, xposted. I don't know the real value of the house. Selling or buying STBXH out will depend on the price, so it is possible that I will need to sell (for instance if appreciation is over $100k). So not really wasting their time although obviously wishing I don't need to sell.
I think that I can get a very different price range depending on the agent so I wanted to ask several of them to see what is the average. If they all tell me +180k I will definitely sell. If I find somebody in the lower range I will hire the appraiser and try to buy out.

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 14/11/2015 22:41

I hope you get the answer you want and can stay put.

EleanorRigsby · 14/11/2015 22:54

Is STBXH just going to take your word on valuation? Why?
Surely he will be going through a similar exercise when he knows he's XH?
So in the end you will both need to agree a valuation. Then you can either buy him out if affordable or sell up and split the money.
I have no idea of your situation, but going behind someone's back doesn't usually aid the eventual outcome.

Original poster
torontonian · 14/11/2015 22:54

Thank you all for your responses. You are right :) It looks like saying that I don't want to sell is the easy way to stop this guy from coming! I will try that and hopefully he doesn't try to push more.

OP posts:
Original poster
torontonian · 14/11/2015 23:00

EleanorRigsby He knows is is STBXH. We are separating and he is the one who had an affair and left me. Obviously he will look for the highest value, so I am looking for the lowest. He won't take my word but if we both have agents giving us a value we can meet in the middle. Of course, he can still tell me that he wants more and we might still need to sell. But at the end the house value is what people is willing to pay for it. So if nobody offers the highest price I can still bid on it.
I am not doing anything bad by getting valuations without his knowledge. In the same way we are not telling each other what we consult with our lawyers or even when we go to meet them. I think that it is just strategy and that it is important that I am doing it this way.

OP posts:
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