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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Totally fed up and need to rant.

6 replies

squigglehead · 14/11/2015 20:00

Everything is a bloody mess at the moment. DH works full time and goes to college 2 evenings a week. He is tired and grumpy and takes it out on me by being critical, negative and generally an arse. I look after DS (14months) full time and work (self-employed, from home) every nap time and several evenings a week. I am tired and feeling sensitive and getting extremely upset with how I am spoken to by DH. Both of us are struggling to keep on top of house stuff. DS is going through a patch of taking hours to get to sleep, making us both even more stressed out.

I'm fed up of feeling like a shit and failing mother with an often sunny but also often grumpy child who takes hours to fall asleep. I'm fed up of being spoken to like I'm just an irritating piece of shit that does everything wrong and gets in DH's way (its not all the time but this is the 3rd day in a row so it feels that way). I'm fed up of having the same conversation over and over again where I tell him all this and he apologies and nothing changes.

I really don't know where to go from here. I don't want to put up with this but I'm not ready or in a place where I can or want to walk away. But I don't know how I can keep trying to fix it with someone who struggles to communicate and is full of lip service and I just needed to get it out :( today after 2.5hours failing to get a tired and furious DS to nap I called DH at work looking for sympathy and reassurance, and this evening I said I was finally feeling relaxed again for the first time in days (cuddling DS in front of Night Garden) only for him to choose that moment to tell me not to call him at work.

Currently sat moping on the sofa while DH attempts to get DS to sleep and I don't even have any Wine

OP posts:
squigglehead · 14/11/2015 20:13

I don't know what to do. I just want the affectionate, loving man that he was before back :( I'm so scared that I'm not ever going to get that :(

OP posts:
Northernnights · 14/11/2015 20:32

Oh Squiggle. You sound so sad, I wish I could say something to comfort you.
Your DH needs a strong word in his ear. If you have already done it, do it again. Let him know the effect his behaviour is having on you.
Flowers

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 14/11/2015 20:40

When did he start being an arse?

squigglehead · 14/11/2015 20:46

Thanks Northern Flowers

RunRabbit back when I was in the early stages of pregnancy, when he stopped exercising weekly (getting tensions out I guess) to be with exhausted ill me (his choice). Now that he's more tired (college and DS) its worse. There's not an OW, he doesn't go anywhere except work and college, if we socialise it tends to be together.

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 14/11/2015 21:02

Why is your DC taking hours to get to sleep?

Could you make his afternoon sleep a bit shorter so he goes to sleep straight away when you put him to bed at night?

You will probably find that once your DC sleeps you get on better with your DH. Have you got anyone to babysit so you and your DH can go out for the evening?

Hang on in there, things will get better. Flowers

squigglehead · 14/11/2015 22:37

Thanks ALaugh. He's going through a developmental leap at the moment and I'm pretty sure he's teething some back teeth so he's a bit of a grumpus :( hoping he'll be out of this rough patch soon, its not usual but has been all week! My mum is supposed to be babysitting tomorrow so we can go out (cinema and a meal) so I'm really hoping that we'll both feel a lot better after that...

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